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BPDFamily.com
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
7 weeks post b/u. 21 days no contact. It's still hard.
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Topic: 7 weeks post b/u. 21 days no contact. It's still hard. (Read 599 times)
Xidion
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 295
7 weeks post b/u. 21 days no contact. It's still hard.
«
on:
December 20, 2014, 12:21:02 PM »
Was with her for 20 months. Lived together for 4 months. I finally got the courage to block her on social media. I was avoiding blocking her on facebook because I didn't want to validate her in anyway, but I realize this is about me and not her. 2 days ago I viewed her facebook from someone she is friends with. I had to see all of the mushy crap with her and my replacement. And all her posts about how much of a struggle it was to leave me but she was glad that she finally got the strength to do it. My brain still races 100 miles an hour about what I read and wondering how she can be so happy already. I want so badly to be over this. I think that seeing that set me back. Her facebook is plastered with meme's about relationships. Why would she be so public about it?
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MrConfusedWithItAll
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 320
Re: 7 weeks post b/u. 21 days no contact. It's still hard.
«
Reply #1 on:
December 20, 2014, 12:27:30 PM »
Quote from: Xidion on December 20, 2014, 12:21:02 PM
Her facebook is plastered with meme's about relationships. Why would she be so public about it?
Probably because she knows that all the men she has benched for future need visit her facebook account. She retains control. Look within and turn away. Respect yourself.
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Xidion
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 295
Re: 7 weeks post b/u. 21 days no contact. It's still hard.
«
Reply #2 on:
December 20, 2014, 12:37:08 PM »
That's why I ended up blocking, so in times I was tempted to look, I won't be able to. I just can't get over how I'm left in shambles and she is with someone else, happy, like I was the worst thing that happened to her.
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MrConfusedWithItAll
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 320
Re: 7 weeks post b/u. 21 days no contact. It's still hard.
«
Reply #3 on:
December 20, 2014, 12:44:03 PM »
Quote from: Xidion on December 20, 2014, 12:37:08 PM
That's why I ended up blocking, so in times I was tempted to look, I won't be able to. I just can't get over how I'm left in shambles and she is with someone else, happy, like I was the worst thing that happened to her.
You are painted black. At some point you will be painted white. Stay NC and the FOG will clear. I know it is not easy. As it says to the right - Detachment Leads to Freedom.
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peiper
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 805
Re: 7 weeks post b/u. 21 days no contact. It's still hard.
«
Reply #4 on:
December 20, 2014, 12:54:32 PM »
I can tell you this, these people put on a great act. Mine did the same thing, then out of the blue him and his daughter in law are deleted from her friends list. These people have very self centered and have to show the world how great their life is, even though it's not.
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Xidion
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Posts: 295
Re: 7 weeks post b/u. 21 days no contact. It's still hard.
«
Reply #5 on:
December 20, 2014, 01:07:53 PM »
Quote from: peiper on December 20, 2014, 12:54:32 PM
I can tell you this, these people put on a great act. Mine did the same thing, then out of the blue him and his daughter in law are deleted from her friends list. These people have very self centered and have to show the world how great their life is, even though it's not.
She needs a Grammy award then. I wonder how the replacement feels about being with someone that's still posting stuff about her last relationship. Seems like he's just the rescuer I was. Although, she didn't post the things then like she is now. Maybe she is trying to convince herself.
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peiper
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 805
Re: 7 weeks post b/u. 21 days no contact. It's still hard.
«
Reply #6 on:
December 20, 2014, 01:52:05 PM »
Quote from: Xidion on December 20, 2014, 01:07:53 PM
Quote from: peiper on December 20, 2014, 12:54:32 PM
I can tell you this, these people put on a great act. Mine did the same thing, then out of the blue him and his daughter in law are deleted from her friends list. These people have very self centered and have to show the world how great their life is, even though it's not.
She needs a Grammy award then. I wonder how the replacement feels about being with someone that's still posting stuff about her last relationship. Seems like he's just the rescuer I was. Although, she didn't post the things then like she is now. Maybe she is trying to convince herself.
They deserve Oscars. Trying to figure out someone who is crazy will only drive you crazy
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Xidion
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 295
Re: 7 weeks post b/u. 21 days no contact. It's still hard.
«
Reply #7 on:
December 20, 2014, 02:14:01 PM »
Quote from: peiper on December 20, 2014, 01:52:05 PM
Quote from: Xidion on December 20, 2014, 01:07:53 PM
Quote from: peiper on December 20, 2014, 12:54:32 PM
I can tell you this, these people put on a great act. Mine did the same thing, then out of the blue him and his daughter in law are deleted from her friends list. These people have very self centered and have to show the world how great their life is, even though it's not.
She needs a Grammy award then. I wonder how the replacement feels about being with someone that's still posting stuff about her last relationship. Seems like he's just the rescuer I was. Although, she didn't post the things then like she is now. Maybe she is trying to convince herself.
They deserve Oscars. Trying to figure out someone who is crazy will only drive you crazy
You're right about that one. I'm a problem solver. If I can't figure something out... it DOES drive me crazy. I guess I'm going to have to try to throw in the towel on this one.
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peiper
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 805
Re: 7 weeks post b/u. 21 days no contact. It's still hard.
«
Reply #8 on:
December 20, 2014, 03:04:59 PM »
Quote from: Xidion on December 20, 2014, 02:14:01 PM
Quote from: peiper on December 20, 2014, 01:52:05 PM
Quote from: Xidion on December 20, 2014, 01:07:53 PM
Quote from: peiper on December 20, 2014, 12:54:32 PM
I can tell you this, these people put on a great act. Mine did the same thing, then out of the blue him and his daughter in law are deleted from her friends list. These people have very self centered and have to show the world how great their life is, even though it's not.
She needs a Grammy award then. I wonder how the replacement feels about being with someone that's still posting stuff about her last relationship. Seems like he's just the rescuer I was. Although, she didn't post the things then like she is now. Maybe she is trying to convince herself.
They deserve Oscars. Trying to figure out someone who is crazy will only drive you crazy
You're right about that one. I'm a problem solver. If I can't figure something out... it DOES drive me crazy. I guess I'm going to have to try to throw in the towel on this one.
I'm a problem solver also. Its hard not to be and I still struggle with the questions like why did she marry me only to cheat a month later. But it is what it is.
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Infern0
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1520
Re: 7 weeks post b/u. 21 days no contact. It's still hard.
«
Reply #9 on:
December 20, 2014, 03:13:58 PM »
You can read between the lines.
These people are never happy and that's one of the reasons they post all the garbage on fake book etc.
Mine does this all the time and any time she fell out with me she would say how "wow my relationship is magic, I'm soo happy"
Give it a week and she's back texting me, repeat ad nauseum.
These people are fake, go no contact.
No contact is no contact it means that you erase them from your life, don't check Facebook or any of the rest of it. All you will see is lies and bull___. Don't be a sadist.
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Xidion
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 295
Re: 7 weeks post b/u. 21 days no contact. It's still hard.
«
Reply #10 on:
December 20, 2014, 08:39:54 PM »
Yeah... I blocked her on everything I could. Now that she can't keep tabs on me, I assume for drive by creepings will happen. I really don't care either way. She's completely crazy. Clarity os what I'm waiting on.
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Infared
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1763
Re: 7 weeks post b/u. 21 days no contact. It's still hard.
«
Reply #11 on:
December 20, 2014, 11:56:05 PM »
Quote from: MrConfusedWithItAll on December 20, 2014, 12:27:30 PM
Quote from: Xidion on December 20, 2014, 12:21:02 PM
Her facebook is plastered with meme's about relationships. Why would she be so public about it?
Probably because she knows that all the men she has benched for future need visit her facebook account. She retains control. Look within and turn away. Respect yourself.
+100
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Infern0
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1520
Re: 7 weeks post b/u. 21 days no contact. It's still hard.
«
Reply #12 on:
December 21, 2014, 12:11:37 AM »
Quote from: Xidion on December 20, 2014, 08:39:54 PM
Yeah... I blocked her on everything I could. Now that she can't keep tabs on me, I assume for drive by creepings will happen. I really don't care either way. She's completely crazy. Clarity os what I'm waiting on.
Yeah mine does some weird as stuff when she splits me, drive bys, walking past my work, fake social media accounts etc.
It's a case of divert all power to the shields
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Xidion
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 295
Re: 7 weeks post b/u. 21 days no contact. It's still hard.
«
Reply #13 on:
December 21, 2014, 12:27:23 AM »
Today has been rough. For some reason I started thinking about stuff we did a long time ago that I thought I had forgotten about. Good memories. I tried to shake them, but I couldn't. I've had trouble breathing today as well. I know it's probably anxiety. I'm having trouble with wondering if she will ever remember the good times.
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Infared
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1763
Re: 7 weeks post b/u. 21 days no contact. It's still hard.
«
Reply #14 on:
December 21, 2014, 07:56:11 AM »
Quote from: Xidion on December 21, 2014, 12:27:23 AM
Today has been rough. For some reason I started thinking about stuff we did a long time ago that I thought I had forgotten about. Good memories. I tried to shake them, but I couldn't. I've had trouble breathing today as well. I know it's probably anxiety. I'm having trouble with wondering if she will ever remember the good times.
I had extreme depression and anxiety when I was in your place. I needed to get therapy for support... .the emotional pain was great. I think my ex had just painted me black and rewrote history. She had a new supply and she was off on her new high (drug) of "he does everything right and you did everything wrong". Nothing I could do about it, but get away from it and save me.
I didn't do everything (within reason), wrong. Of course I was not perfect. I was being judged by the mind of a child, who idealized me. (She was emotionally damaged as a child).
None of us can live up to that.
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hope2727
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1210
Re: 7 weeks post b/u. 21 days no contact. It's still hard.
«
Reply #15 on:
December 21, 2014, 09:38:21 AM »
Quote from: Xidion on December 21, 2014, 12:27:23 AM
Today has been rough. For some reason I started thinking about stuff we did a long time ago that I thought I had forgotten about. Good memories. I tried to shake them, but I couldn't. I've had trouble breathing today as well. I know it's probably anxiety. I'm having trouble with wondering if she will ever remember the good times.
I go through that with the good memories too. I keep telling myself that I have to make new good memories either with myself alone or with someone new... .someone healthy. I have officially put away all our photos and am going to spend christmas painting the house to help purge his memory. We all deserve someone who can reciprocate our love. Once we are ready we will find them. Or they will find us.
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