Feel like a prisoner

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

My uBPDw is deathly afraid to stay alone. I am planning a short visit to grand D &:) 15 minutes away. Have only visited twice this year for a grand total of 2 hours.

Prior to any thing she needs to do or go she doesn't want to. Mom's, dentist, she will start getting sick. Claims low sugar thing and goes into panic mode etc. She has talked about me visiting not me so I know it is on her mind.

Had a long talk about how she is, her family trying to lay a guilt trip on her about not seeing her mom. 1 hour away. She is very depressed and has been hitting the chocolate/sugar thing to feel good. But that has been backfiring lately as she is for real sick the next day.

Anyway have been reading a lot about BP's and talking to her about her feelings and how this all came to be with her without actually mentioning BPD.

I know all about her abandonment issues and why she has them . tramatic stress as a child that was poopooed by parents to this day. I wanted to let her know I have a knowledge of understanding. I need to keep reinforcing this.

Anyway, how am I going to get away for 2 hours tomorrw if she fiengs(sp) illness and lays a guilt trip on me to postpone visit yet again?

Her depression is dragging me down. We are so opposite.

She hid her issues well for many years.

What to do.

Thanks for listening.

[Henry II]

My uBPDw is deathly afraid to stay alone. I am planning a short visit to grand D &:) 15 minutes away. Have only visited twice this year for a grand total of 2 hours.

Prior to any thing she needs to do or go she doesn't want to. Mom's, dentist, she will start getting sick. Claims low sugar thing and goes into panic mode etc. She has talked about me visiting not me so I know it is on her mind.

Had a long talk about how she is, her family trying to lay a guilt trip on her about not seeing her mom. 1 hour away. She is very depressed and has been hitting the chocolate/sugar thing to feel good. But that has been backfiring lately as she is for real sick the next day.

Anyway have been reading a lot about BP's and talking to her about her feelings and how this all came to be with her without actually mentioning BPD.

I know all about her abandonment issues and why she has them . tramatic stress as a child that was poopooed by parents to this day. I wanted to let her know I have a knowledge of understanding. I need to keep reinforcing this.

Anyway, how am I going to get away for 2 hours tomorrw if she fiengs(sp) illness and lays a guilt trip on me to postpone visit yet again?

Her depression is dragging me down. We are so opposite.

She hid her issues well for many years.

What to do.

Thanks for listening.

[Panda39]

This may be insensitive or not pc but she is an adult (does she seriously need a babysitter so she's not alone and you can go somewhere?) It is ridiculous to expect you to never leave the house without her... .How have you ever gone to worK? Living this way would suffocate me.

just go visit your daughter and granddaughter you are allowed a life and your wife will live for a couple hours.

[Henry II]

What happened.

I postponed until today. She started the same stuff but sore back instead. She did make brownies for me to take. I just told her that I know she is afraid inside and hat will she do if anything happens. I soothed and went. Got a "see you in an hour" on the way out the door which I ignored.

Had a nice visit and near the end got a text "where r u" told her was just leaving then called and put the little one on speaker so they could have a few words. Was cute.

Got back and although a little tense at first , she has been great. Normal.

In the past you could not keep her away from my grandkids by another of my children. Has not seen them in 6 years but texts them .

Strange. Gotta break her out. I'll just keep educating myself and apply what I learn. Not easy.