Still NC, Day 28, this is what has happened so far.

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

December 1 Was the last time I responded to my uBPDexgf, she told me she thinks she found somebody that will love her and I think she did that to make me jealous but it backfired, I told if you found somebody then we should no longer communicate, then on December 14 she emailed and wanted to meet for closure, on December 15 she added that she has clothes for my son that her son no longer wears, on December 17 she added me to her google plus account,  :)ecember 19 I got another email asking if we were going to meet before Christmas to have closure, Christmas day she said a email that said Merry Christmas:)  she always puts in the smiley face, on Google plus I have nothing there but she is posting quotes about love and two pictures of herself, and one post about trust, out of the blue came another email last night, she said- I hope you had a Merry Christmas and you are doing better with your drinking:).  I guess my drinking is a problem for her because if it is true they magnify everything 100 times then to her I drink about 300 beers a day,    I have not responded to her in any way, I almost got week and posted something on Google plus for her to see but decided against it, I was going to comment on her trust post and list the reasons why I cannot trust her but it just was not worth it so I did nothing,  I still have my weak moments when I really miss her but I just wait for them to pass because I cannot go through this cycle again, I would love to spend the rest of my life with her, just not with the things she does and the way she treats me, II know already we should not have contact and I have stuck with it. Anybody else that is in NC what other kind of tricks did yours Pull to try to get to you or get your attention?

[Targeted]

December 1 Was the last time I responded to my uBPDexgf, she told me she thinks she found somebody that will love her and I think she did that to make me jealous but it backfired, I told if you found somebody then we should no longer communicate, then on December 14 she emailed and wanted to meet for closure, on December 15 she added that she has clothes for my son that her son no longer wears, on December 17 she added me to her google plus account,  :)ecember 19 I got another email asking if we were going to meet before Christmas to have closure, Christmas day she said a email that said Merry Christmas:)  she always puts in the smiley face, on Google plus I have nothing there but she is posting quotes about love and two pictures of herself, and one post about trust, out of the blue came another email last night, she said- I hope you had a Merry Christmas and you are doing better with your drinking:).  I guess my drinking is a problem for her because if it is true they magnify everything 100 times then to her I drink about 300 beers a day,    I have not responded to her in any way, I almost got week and posted something on Google plus for her to see but decided against it, I was going to comment on her trust post and list the reasons why I cannot trust her but it just was not worth it so I did nothing,  I still have my weak moments when I really miss her but I just wait for them to pass because I cannot go through this cycle again, I would love to spend the rest of my life with her, just not with the things she does and the way she treats me, II know already we should not have contact and I have stuck with it. Anybody else that is in NC what other kind of tricks did yours Pull to try to get to you or get your attention?

[MrConfusedWithItAll]

Congratulations on your 28 days.  NC has been difficult but very effective for me.  Although I still miss her I can see clearly how disordered she really is.  NC clears the mist.  I am over four months NC.  I have had various calls and texts.  Her main trick is to use her kids.  I got on very well with her kids.  So she will text and say the kids want to see me.  The first time she tried it I agreed to meet up with her and the kids.   She then changed her mind, saying we had to meet up alone.  This told me she was still with my replacement and she was up to her BPD tricks.  She has tried using the kids again, but ofcourse I have already given her the chance and she flipped it - so no guilt there for remaining NC.  The last text was an attempt at manipulation.  She said if I continue to ignore her texts she will no long be bothered to contact me and I should think carefully about it.  I think that was the most ridiculous text she has sent.  I delete all of her texts as soon as they are read.  She is not a contact in my phone.  I do not use FaceBook either.  It is complete radio silence.

[Targeted]

Thank you, mr confused

NC is tough because there are times I really want to reply and tell her how much she needs help, other times I just want to reply with a snide comment, like when she emailed and said I hope you had a Merry Christmas and you are doing better with your drinking, I really wanted to reply with -- thank you and I hope your relationship with the guy you said you found who is going to love you is going well,  The reason why I say that is because I know there is no guy !  if there was he already left because she is active on a dating site and I know how it works, it really would have been just me throwing a dig back which would keep the childish playground game going, before I went NC I offered to do therapy with her if she was going to focus on herself and her problems and let her know I do not why any more contact without that!   If I back down now and contact her I will only be enabling her bad behaviours