Hello Ripped Heart. I'm guessing it was something concerning a picture or statement of your replacement. D14's are extremely sensitive to betrayal. She can't talk to you about it for fear you will be hurt. She knows you are hurting already. She is holding that hurt for you. She is trying to protect you. She really loves you.
That is so awesome that you have support and vaidation coming out of the woodwork. We are here to help also and we already knew you were a great guy (that is a prerequisite to posting here
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Oh... .YES... .and when HER choices all go wrong for HER she will be looking for someone to blame and it has begun already. It will be you. She WILL make it your fault. It won't be. But she will make it that way and will gaslight you all the way to hell if you'd only allow it.
Obviously your feeling (that I feel myself) that you shared with us regarding New Years you have also shared with her. You had a feeling?. You will pay for that. I dont understand how at this moment but you will. I mean your feelings are so unreasonable. What?. To start the New Year with a fresh outlook and want to improve your life and grow... .I thought EVERYBODY did that?... .but now you're unreasonable. I find the logical mind particularly weak and underdeveloped in pwBPD.
She is going to continue to invalidate you... .but the validation that you are receiving from all those around you is one of the greatest things you could ever receive in the replacement cycle in a BPD relationship... .these people are telling you something really important about yourself.
It doesn't remove the hurt but it certainly helps with understanding. Many people are left feeling like they have lost their mind sitting in a puddle from the loss and the gaslighting.
Your exgf reaching out to you is also kind of telling. Sounds like she knows you, respects you, and is being completely honest with you. No wonder you burst into tears. A BPD relationship is often not at all like that. It can be quite a terrible thing. It can be so subtle that you dont even realise it until you are met with a decent and heartwarming response from a real person. One that they felt you deserved but yet you didn't?. That can be quite a shock. Because it quickly centres you, and your feelings and expectations align in a way you weren't expecting... .you then realise you deserve to be treated well. It is your right.
The validation you had received from her children is sad in a way. You are all on a fast moving train. Everyone is aware the bridge is out up ahead... .and all anyone can do is look into each others eyes. This is really how bad things are. Feel overwhelmed. It's overwhelming. I am sure every one who reads your post will feel it. I know I do. It will pass.
Yes. ripped Heart. You are living the definition of BPD. Only if you love yourself so little that you would continue like this. She is mentally ill and without treatment.
Be prepared. This "new" relationship with your replacement with the guilt and shame she is going to feel from everyone is not going to sit well with her disorder and once he does something to trigger her it will unleash something else within her.
This can be dangerous stuff. Look after yourself.
I wish you well whatever it is you choose to do.
