Is 2.5 months too less time to move on & start looking for other relationship?

[eagle1206]

I am in dual mind. I want to move on. Cried a lot after the break up about 2.5 months earlier, hoped for things to work out. Still analyzing constantly, and thinking a lot and processing and recovering.

However, I want to confess, I have already started looking for other relationship, which I feel is premature in one way, but I also feel, I am ready to move on. I want to take it very carefully, slowly and use all the wisdom I have gained, but still in duel mind. I am doing therapies, trying to understand my own vulnerabilities etc. But, at the same time, I have started to look for potential life partners (just registering on websites etc and casually talking to 1,2 girls). Is it too early? I do not know if I am becoming "dependent" or "desperate" to find a life partner. I am also going to take opinion from my therapist and I will post his feedback once I talk to him.

I am not sure if there is a right answer for this question, but would appreciate all the perspective I can get. This will help me firm up my mind, possibly in the direction to wait longer, recover fully, process completely, understand everything and then move forward. In a way, it might be the fastest way to recovery (?)

[fromheeltoheal]

It's for you to decide if you're over your last relationship yet, and how would you know?  What evidence do you need?  In any case, it's not generally good to jump into a new relationship if you're not over the last one, although plenty of people have "rebound" relationships, and if it's communicated as such, because you and a new girl have the kind of open, honest communication that might not have been possible with a borderline, and she's good with where you're at, then maybe it could work.  And on the other hand, jumping into something new when you haven't really gotten over the last one and you don't necessarily tell the new girl, then that's not fair to her and isn't starting on the best foot.  Talking about past relationships a lot early is usually a red flag in a new relationship, then again some girls like a fixer-upper.  Bottom line: be honest with yourself first as to where you really are with things.

[peace28]

If you are not fully recovered from the last relationship, I would advise against a committed relationship.  I don't think taking it slow with someone else and building a friendship first is a bad idea for you however.