When this happens with my own BPD loved ones, I find that it is different than just cluelessness.
It seems to be that in the mental state--or zone?--they are in at the time of the offensive comments, it all makes perfect sense to them and feels true and real, given their perceptions of reality at that time.
I doubt that they are even thinking of the fallout of their comments, or how it will be taken by the object of their remarks.
That's just how I see it
