Absurd post breakup requests?

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

My exGF had some wild ideas of what I should do if I ever cared at all for her, it was a if you really ever loved me scenario even after the break up.  Did anyone else have their ex try to  keep Your obligation going without commitments?  We were only dating and did not share children, She thought I would,

Keep food in her refrigerator so she does not go hungry.

Make sure there is oil for the heat in the house so she does not get cold.

Make sure she can get in and out of the driveway after a snowstorm,

Take care of her Animals if she was going out of town.

Check on her to make sure she is okay after any storm,

[Targeted]

My exGF had some wild ideas of what I should do if I ever cared at all for her, it was a if you really ever loved me scenario even after the break up.  Did anyone else have their ex try to  keep Your obligation going without commitments?  We were only dating and did not share children, She thought I would,

Keep food in her refrigerator so she does not go hungry.

Make sure there is oil for the heat in the house so she does not get cold.

Make sure she can get in and out of the driveway after a snowstorm,

Take care of her Animals if she was going out of town.

Check on her to make sure she is okay after any storm,

[JRT]

Do you mean to say that she expected you to continue to maintain these activities for her even though she was no longer in your life?

[Confused?]

Im sorry but that rediculous. Bpd or not who would do that? I can understand the various phone calls or text messages asking for favors but this to me is over the top.

[mrshambles]

Yup. So far post B/U she's asked for... .

1. To fill her car up with gas

2. To bring her cookies

3. To borrow money

4. To file our taxes together and use Her as my dependent (LOL!)

[Turkish]

Mine wanted to keep the keys to my house, along with the home alarm fob. I got them back the day she moved out, and then handed her the spare keys to her new car (on which I put the down payment to get her out) which I had been keeping my my safe. Her reasoning was, "in case there's an emergency." I felt like being snarky, though truthful, "then call 911 and have the cops break down the door," but I replied, "I don't need keys to your apartment so why do you need keys to my house?

[hope2727]

Come to an apt with my psychiatrist so I can tell you how you have hurt me

NO I am not kidding you.

[ADecadeLost]

Absurd post breakup requests?  You bet.  There were a few, but here's the winner... .


Two months after she filed for divorce, she asked if I would get her pregnant. 

[downwhim]

, pretty nuts, dependent on you to financially continue to support them, keep a door open for sexual encounters just in case, and let them dump some guilt on you from their psychologist.

Mine, not returning. No word since initial break up day. Radio silence. Busy fantasizing with the replacement.

Really do they not know what a break up means?

[Targeted]

Not kidding!   She really told me and believed that a real man that loved her would still do these things!

[Targeted]

Come to an apt with my psychiatrist so I can tell you how you have hurt me

NO I am not kidding you.

I read your posts,  similar with gender reversal, I have crazier that I have not even posted yet!

I think paranoid PD!

[Targeted]

Absurd post breakup requests?  You bet.  There were a few, but here's the winner... .


Two months after she filed for divorce, she asked if I would get her pregnant. 

I was not married!   But she did want a baby and at 52 I was actually trying,  test strips, herbs, medications, thermometers, three times a day,  phew!

[JRT]

yeah, that's MORE than just BPD

[Splitblack4good]

My ex had 4 kids who adored me and saw me as ther father figure I loved them to bits aswell and do miss them . My ex found a replacement within 12 hours she rang me at least 4 times not asking to still see the kids now we split up but demanding ! When I told her that I didn't think this was fair on them or me as it would confuse them and not only that it will hurt me seeing them whilst watching her move on with my  replacement and I'm not ther biological father her words to me were " your there dad fu**ing act like it ! I dont love you anymore so what's the problem I actually hate you now ! Breaking promises to them and ruining Xmas !"

Aswell as my ex being BPD there's a lot of Npd in her also .

[JRT]

Wait, are you saying that she continues to recognize you as their parent?

[enlighten me]

Both my exs expected me to provide for them. My exgf wanted me to pay her first months rent and deposit. I did this just to get her out of my house. It cost me but better to be out of pocket than have her in my house.

Its tough when you have kids with them. They try to guilt you and make you feel your neglecting your kids by not doing things.

Mine have wanted me to go and do diy jobs, money, pick things up for them, change access dates as they have plans with replacement.move their stuff out. The list goes on.

I dont know whether they still feel attached or just have a distorted sense of entitlement.

im waiting for the exgf car to break down and see if she comes running to me.

[Infared]

My ex had 4 kids who adored me and saw me as ther father figure I loved them to bits aswell and do miss them . My ex found a replacement within 12 hours she rang me at least 4 times not asking to still see the kids now we split up but demanding ! When I told her that I didn't think this was fair on them or me as it would confuse them and not only that it will hurt me seeing them whilst watching her move on with my  replacement and I'm not ther biological father her words to me were " your there dad fu**ing act like it ! I dont love you anymore so what's the problem I actually hate you now ! Breaking promises to them and ruining Xmas !"

Aswell as my ex being BPD there's a lot of Npd in her also .

SplitBlack... .I feel for you bud. what a twisted painful place to be. As much as it hurts, unless you are Jesus (or other higher entity)... about all you can do is move away from that and save you. I feel for you and your situation. She is very sick.

[Infared]

Not kidding!   She really told me and believed that a real man that loved her would still do these things!

WOW a mega black whole of self-centeredness.  All you can do is take care of you, move away from any contact with that, clear the FOG and heal! We support you. 

[Splitblack4good]

My ex had 4 kids who adored me and saw me as ther father figure I loved them to bits aswell and do miss them . My ex found a replacement within 12 hours she rang me at least 4 times not asking to still see the kids now we split up but demanding ! When I told her that I didn't think this was fair on them or me as it would confuse them and not only that it will hurt me seeing them whilst watching her move on with my  replacement and I'm not ther biological father her words to me were " your there dad fu**ing act like it ! I dont love you anymore so what's the problem I actually hate you now ! Breaking promises to them and ruining Xmas !"

Aswell as my ex being BPD there's a lot of Npd in her also .

SplitBlack... .I feel for you bud. what a twisted painful place to be. As much as it hurts, unless you are Jesus (or other higher entity)... about all you can do is move away from that and save you. I feel for you and your situation. She is very sick.

Thanks infrared I have moved away from the situation and not seen her or the kids since the split . Only time I have seen her for a couple of mins at most at a mutuel freinds house and spoken a coulple of times on the phone last time we spoke over a week ago she even mentioned it then and said " I gave you the opportunity to see the kids but you didn't want to as you are selfish and you have let them down just like there real dad ! "

I had made promises to them for this year taking them to Lego land etc and it does pain me letting them down as it's not there fault but they have had plenty of step dads come and go from there life but always said they liked me and loved me the most . Should of seen the    but believed her victim story's .think she's talking about herself here and is useless trying to explain to her again u reasons of she can't see it or understand it there's mo point as I would of only ended up JADE the phone call .

[Splitblack4good]

Wait, are you saying that she continues to recognize you as their parent?

Yes that's exactly what she was suggesting !

[Infared]

Wait, are you saying that she continues to recognize you as their parent?

Yes that's exactly what she was suggesting !

Can I ask how the BU went down? Who left who?

She is totally blameless and wants to leave her children with someone they love (at your expense), so that she can immaturely run off with her new "catch".   She is attempting to manipulate your love and kindness with blame and shame... .Epic self-centeredness.

[Splitblack4good]

Wait, are you saying that she continues to recognize you as their parent?

Yes that's exactly what she was suggesting !

Can I ask how the BU went down? Who left who?

She is totally blameless and wants to leave her children with someone they love (at your expense), so that she can immaturely run off with her new "catch".   She is attempting to manipulate your love and kindness with blame and shame... .Epic self-centeredness.

Well she was devaluing me for about two weeks before we mutuely decided to have a break (we were going to stay in touch as freinds) as I called her out on her lies mostly and I think she sensed anandonment at the same time as she was devaluing me then 3 days after we decided a break she rang me starting making false accusations down the phone at me ! I later found out by this point I think she had secured my replacement so it would seem she tried sabotaging it but I beat her to it I split up with her on the phone as I couldnt take her abuse any longer ! However she later told me that she had no intention of getting back with me later when we decided a break so technicaly she ended it but in such a way that she didn't burn her bridges but I runied her plan for me to be her back up ! That's why she so angry at me it seems !

[Infared]

Wait, are you saying that she continues to recognize you as their parent?

Yes that's exactly what she was suggesting !

Can I ask how the BU went down? Who left who?

She is totally blameless and wants to leave her children with someone they love (at your expense), so that she can immaturely run off with her new "catch".   She is attempting to manipulate your love and kindness with blame and shame... .Epic self-centeredness.

Well she was devaluing me for about two weeks before we mutuely decided to have a break (we were going to stay in touch as freinds) as I called her out on her lies mostly and I think she sensed anandonment at the same time as she was devaluing me then 3 days after we decided a break she rang me starting making false accusations down the phone at me ! I later found out by this point I think she had secured my replacement so it would seem she tried sabotaging it but I beat her to it I split up with her on the phone as I couldnt take her abuse any longer ! However she later told me that she had no intention of getting back with me later when we decided a break so technicaly she ended it but in such a way that she didn't burn her bridges but I runied her plan for me to be her back up ! That's why she so angry at me it seems !

Hmmmmm... .mine did the same... .she was heavily devaluing me at the end of the relationship all powered by the guy that I was unaware of.  Are you sure that your ex wasn't with this guy before you knew? That is classic BPD. Painful stuff. They rarely go anywhere without set-up supply... .they just don't have that kind of stability. Sounds like a possibility... .They are EXTREMELY cunning.

[Splitblack4good]

I've been in LC with her since the split and had very mixed signals from her I.e she rang me Xmas eve all upset and made out like she misses but didn't actualy say so . Another one of her calls last week out of the blue she said " I dont want things to be nasty between us I want to be able to get on with you " then in the same conversation mins later she said this " I will never forgive you I don't want to even be your freind you don't love me " please note tho that I never asked her for anything on the phone she just came out with it ! Plus she has left me unblocked on her phone for some strange reason ? I told her on the phone to delete my number but she changed the subject . I know things Arnt going great with my replacement and he treats her like crap ! I've gone NC been 5 now and she ignored my last text so staying NC .

[Splitblack4good]

Wait, are you saying that she continues to recognize you as their parent?

Yes that's exactly what she was suggesting !

Can I ask how the BU went down? Who left who?

She is totally blameless and wants to leave her children with someone they love (at your expense), so that she can immaturely run off with her new "catch".   She is attempting to manipulate your love and kindness with blame and shame... .Epic self-centeredness.

Well she was devaluing me for about two weeks before we mutuely decided to have a break (we were going to stay in touch as freinds) as I called her out on her lies mostly and I think she sensed anandonment at the same time as she was devaluing me then 3 days after we decided a break she rang me starting making false accusations down the phone at me ! I later found out by this point I think she had secured my replacement so it would seem she tried sabotaging it but I beat her to it I split up with her on the phone as I couldnt take her abuse any longer ! However she later told me that she had no intention of getting back with me later when we decided a break so technicaly she ended it but in such a way that she didn't burn her bridges but I runied her plan for me to be her back up ! That's why she so angry at me it seems !

Hmmmmm... .mine did the same... .she was heavily devaluing me at the end of the relationship all powered by the guy that I was unaware of.  Are you sure that your ex wasn't with this guy before you knew? That is classic BPD. Painful stuff. They rarely go anywhere without set-up supply... .they just don't have that kind of stability. Sounds like a possibility... .They are EXTREMELY cunning.

No she wasn't seeing him before the split I know this 100% as my replacement is freinds with a coulple of our muteul freinds ( well my freinds now as she has fallen out with everyone ) and they confirmed it wasn't the case I think they had sent a few texts back and forth . Hence that's why she only wanted a break so she still had me as back up as she didn't know how well it was goin to pan out with my replacement she hadn't got her hooks properly in him at that point just turns out tho that they are together now but ther relaitionship is far from stable . I was even told that my ex was caught red handed trying to chat up my replacements best mate on a night out only 4 weeks in to ther relaitionship witch ended in a massive argument ! Lol unreal .

[hergestridge]

In my case it's more about what she doesn't do. Even though she was the one that left, she does not take any initiatives when it comes to divorce or financial issues regarding our house etc. She just moved out.

Also, when she moved out she took with her the only key there is to our house, so I can't lock it because it's the only key there is. I have asked her for the key, but every time ask she says she's got it somewhere else and will bring it next time we meet. I can't really afford to change the locks either.

[Splitblack4good]

In my case it's more about what she doesn't do. Even though she was the one that left, she does not take any initiatives when it comes to divorce or financial issues regarding our house etc. She just moved out.

Also, when she moved out she took with her the only key there is to our house, so I can't lock it because it's the only key there is. I have asked her for the key, but every time ask she says she's got it somewhere else and will bring it next time we meet. I can't really afford to change the locks either.

That's proper naughty maybe she is keeping it as form of an attatcment ? It's strange it's like they don't let go compleatly my ex has still got a picture of me her and her kids hanging up in her front room . My replacement has to sit ther and see that everyday it's weird !

[hergestridge]

In my case it's more about what she doesn't do. Even though she was the one that left, she does not take any initiatives when it comes to divorce or financial issues regarding our house etc. She just moved out.

Also, when she moved out she took with her the only key there is to our house, so I can't lock it because it's the only key there is. I have asked her for the key, but every time ask she says she's got it somewhere else and will bring it next time we meet. I can't really afford to change the locks either.

That's proper naughty maybe she is keeping it as form of an attatcment ? It's strange it's like they don't let go compleatly my ex has still got a picture of me her and her kids hanging up in her front room . My replacement has to sit ther and see that everyday it's weird !

She keep sending me messages stating that she does *not* want to get back together, although I have never suggested that we would (and I am certainly not interested). She tells our daughter that she does not love me any more (which I think is more than a five year old has to know). It's like she keeps the drama going although I am no longer there.

[Splitblack4good]

In my case it's more about what she doesn't do. Even though she was the one that left, she does not take any initiatives when it comes to divorce or financial issues regarding our house etc. She just moved out.

Also, when she moved out she took with her the only key there is to our house, so I can't lock it because it's the only key there is. I have asked her for the key, but every time ask she says she's got it somewhere else and will bring it next time we meet. I can't really afford to change the locks either.

That's proper naughty maybe she is keeping it as form of an attatcment ? It's strange it's like they don't let go compleatly my ex has still got a picture of me her and her kids hanging up in her front room . My replacement has to sit ther and see that everyday it's weird !

She keep sending me messages stating that she does *not* want to get back together, although I have never suggested that we would (and I am certainly not interested). She tells our daughter that she does not love me any more (which I think is more than a five year old has to know). It's like she keeps the drama going although I am no longer there.

Mine has told me the same although they are not my kids when I said no to still see them after we split she then slated me to them ! And told them I had abandoned them !

[Infared]

In my case it's more about what she doesn't do. Even though she was the one that left, she does not take any initiatives when it comes to divorce or financial issues regarding our house etc. She just moved out.

Also, when she moved out she took with her the only key there is to our house, so I can't lock it because it's the only key there is. I have asked her for the key, but every time ask she says she's got it somewhere else and will bring it next time we meet. I can't really afford to change the locks either.

WOW... that is literally the most controlly thing I have ever heard of. Get serious and take the step to rekeying the locks. Have a frieNd stay at the house and then you can take the door knobs off and take them to be re keyed... .it will save you a ton of money over a lock smith house call. It should be relatively inexpensive.

Also, that action will say a lot without speaking. The current situation is unacceptable. Take charge.

[enlighten me]

You could always tell her to throw the key away as you have had the locks changed. She may buy it and do just that. She probably wouldnt want to try it out. Theres nothing stopping her from making a copy and giving your key back so changing the locks would always be sensible.