Ziggiddy, you are proof that resistance is *not* futile.

Attempts are foiled by all the usual suspects - wanting her to love me, thinking if I just say things the right way she'll hear me, guilt, fear,deception, uncertainty that I can make it on my own. You name it.
Well, you overcame those suspects

by listening to your gut, using your intellect and truth.
I can't say my mother ever deliberately goaded me like yours did. My ex did a bit of it though not nearly to the same extreme. I never really thought too much about it, I just put it in the jerky behaviors pile with him. I can relate to wanting to be heard and having my voice ignored or dismissed though and things that bothered me minimized or mocked. I would imagine that having your mother deliberately goad you would be so very hurtful and incredibly frustrating... .but you defeated it.

Well, here's to celebrating internal shifts!
The fear and confusion is replaced by something knowing.
By truth.
I am sure it hurt and the shift was hard won, but good for you for finding the positive and standing taller.
