Intro - It's ALL or NOTHING

[Kriss]

Hello All 

So thankful I came across this site.  I'm in need of support, understanding, and guidance.

I've been in an on and off again relationship with a recovering addict that has had relapses here and there since Feb 2011... .our last break was for just over 8months (the longest) and we have been back together for 4mo with all the promises of "it will be different this time"  I've come to realize that I am co-dependent and by no means fallible.  I started attending counseling but due to financial burden have not been able to attend of late. Hoping to restart soon.  I am more able to recognize when issues are coming up more quickly but still not knowing how to address or deal with them... .The most common argument that comes up is my infidelity... .which is by no means present at all... .I have never been unfaithful to my boyfriend and have no desire or intentions to... .he has cheated on me multiple times even left me for his ex... .   yet I'm constantly being accused of such.  Its exhausting walking on egg shells always trying to cover every base on every situation so that my actions wont be misconstrued.  I could go into more detail but the story is so long and drawn out.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[EaglesJuju]

Hi Kriss,

Welcome aboard. You have come to the right place for support, understanding, and guidance. This site offers a lot of information and tools to help with your relationship. The motto here on the staying board is, "Before you can make anything better, you must stop making it worse." 

I am sorry that you are going through such a tough time.     Walking on eggshells and being accused of things is really difficult to cope with.  There are many effective ways to discuss things with your partner.  Communication tools are great for allowing your needs to be heard, without making things worse.  Here is an article to help you get started.  TOOLS: S.E.T. - Support, Empathy and Truth

Recognizing your role is a great start to help make things better. You mentioned that you are codependent and are speaking to a counselor.  How are you working on your codependency? There are quite a few of us here (myself included) that have codependent traits, so you are in good company. 

Perhaps you can share more of your story so we can help you better. Sharing your story really does help.