Hi Elizabeta! I'm glad you made it here to this forum. People here will definitely understand what you are going through. BPD is an illness where family support should be involved in order for someone to overcome it.
First, I would like to share that there is hope. When there is hope is a solution. A solution are treatments and psychotherapy. My friend used to have different behavior, she's also a mess. I thought there's no chance for her, thankfully we're very happy we hold on to that single thread of hope. After a successful long-term psychotherapy and group counseling, she have regain her life. She can now manage a good relationship to her husband. She told us before that support from the family is a big help to endure every pain she felt. She learn from
Addiction Treatment Center St. Paul MN it's important that family members are giving their trust, support, most of all the love to the patient because they need to feel that they are not alone.
Try to consult from mental health professional to get help. Be patient, everything has its end. Your mom need you most. Hold on, you and your mom can pass this.