can it be possible for the disorder to go dormant for long periods of time? I know what I witnessed in our relationship was textbook BPD. Didn't know it at the time - but I sure see it now.
Does BPD go dormant for long periods? His marriage is such that there are no triggers for him. They have a platonic relationship. Basically, they are roommates, drinking buddies, and she is financially dependent on him for everything. There is no real intimacy and there is no chance of abandonment as she has nowhere else to go.
From what I understand - his marriage is not what we would consider "quality". They are quite the pair. She has broken his nose, had them banned from restaurants, struck his vehicle with hers - and doesn't want him to lay a finger on her (no sex). Every night plays out the same way. They both drink all evening. Stay up until the wee hours. We're talking till two and three in the morning here! He stays on FB all night. Posting his pictures and whatnot. Then passes out. Gets up a few hours later and heads into work. She sleeps all morning until she drags herself into work later in the day. Lather, rinse, repeat.
However - they've been together a long time now. He has been asked many times over why he stays. People have witnessed her behavior and she has a history of domestic violence starting with her first marriage. So apparently they feed off of each other. Both fulfilling a "need". For him - she is a sure thing. Will never leave him. For her - he is her whole world and she cannot survive without him. No one in their family wants to deal with her - so she really has nowhere else to go. Nice, huh?
He has called it a "comfortable life". I call it sad. But you wouldn't know it by what he puts up on FB. It's the most awesome of awesome... .
It is certainly difficult to let go, and many on the boards express difficulties with wondering what their exes are up to and whether they are happier in their new relationships.
In this case, it sounds like he found an individual living with a pretty serious issues, quite possibly BPD. Maybe he is now in the FOG? Maybe she is giving him (a broken nose, banning from restaurants, driveway demolition derby, etc.) what he feels he deserves (based on his low self-worth, etc.)?
But why are you thinking that he honestly might be content with all of this and that this is not BPD-like behavior?
