He may be charged as a sex offender

[hurthusband]

As if anything cant get any worse...

School calls today and apparantly my 15 year old moron son... I say a moron because he has the maturity of a 10 year old has gotten in trouble.  Not just any trouble... get this stupidity...

he is in class and his friend is in another class.  His friend does not have a cell phone capable of getting pictures so he asks this girl in the class to ask MY son to send him some pictures of nude women to him.  

Now the main thing is why would my son even do this?  My son is an idiot.  I look at his internet history all the time and monitor his crap.  He is into Spongebob Squarepants still.  I am sure he is trying to impress friends which he is constantly trying to do and constantly gets him in trouble because he is a total follower.  Now he may be charged as a sex offender.  His life ising over.

I mean even if he wasing going to do that, why would he send to another person in school? why would he even send to another woman's phone?

So the police gotta go through and make sure its not of a student.  What the heck is this crap.  

I am 36 years old and I have NEVER had it cross my mind to send nude photos of anything to a friend.  My son has some sort of mental deficiency where he cannot think things through 30 seconds ahead.  This is totally unacceptable, totally embarrassing, and totally not what is needed right not especially.

[Boss302]

My son has some sort of mental deficiency where he cannot think things through 30 seconds ahead.

Yeah, it's called "Fifteen Year Boy Disease," and it occurs in roughly 99.2% of 15 year old boys. When I was that age my friends and I ransacked Dad's closed ON THE UNFOUNDED RUMOR that he had a Penthouse in there. Seriously... .

In this day and age it's awfully hard to keep kids away from that kind of stuff with all the technology they have at their disposal.

Take a deep breath and take the problem step by step. Don't jump to conclusions. I see you going there and you don't need to. You don't have enough info to go on.

By the way, is he your biological son or is he your kid by marriage?

[livednlearned]

Do you have a plan for how your want to handle this?

Some of the state laws treat transmission of nude pictures as pornography. Some states have updated their laws to make sure minors don't get swept up in this when they "sext" which is pretty common.

[momtara]

Try not to catastrophize; sounds like a misunderstanding.  As scary as it is to deal with courts and cops, because you never know what can happen, he will have to calmly explain what happened and that he didn't mean anything by it.  There were some kids in my area who murdered a homeless guy and got out after 6 months house arrest - awful, but my point is, people get second chances.  Yes, I hope it's not a student and I hope he didn't touch anyone, but for this, it sounds like you just have to be honest and get the right advice.  I am sorry that this has been added to your woes. 

I really think you need to tell a professional what's going on with your family, someone willing to listen and help, not dismiss you.

[DreamGirl]

Being a parent is tough these days with all this technology.

I'm going to say that I'm with momtara in that the catastrophic thinking isn't going to help in finding the resolution.

My son got into some similar kind of trouble, and it all worked out. The original offense was "sexual harassment" that was reduced to "inappropriate conduct". It ultimately was handled within the school (on his school disciplinary record) and no charges were filed. He slapped a girl on her rear end at the urging of a friend's dare. It was dumb, out of character, boundary busting, out of line, and absolutely the hardest lesson he had to learn. It was a blessing though because he did learn a lot from the experience and he really was just an immature kid, completely out of bounds, but not some kind of sexual predator.

Did you know that the human brain does not stop developing until you're in your mid-twenties? So a 15 year old not really thinking things through put's him in a pretty normal area of the spectrum. I also remember those middle school years and the hormones made us all a little crazy.  

Try to take a breath (or 12) and try dealing with him and the authorities involved in a calm, pragmatic way.

[Skip]

So the police gotta go through and make sure its not of a student.  What the heck is this crap.

hurthusband, if the police are involved, your boy needs coaching not contempt.  He could easily say or do the wrong things right now.

Do you a lawyer involved?

What You Need To Know If Your Child Is Arrested

If our child is arrested, most of us aren't knowledgeable in this area and don't know exactly what will happen or how best to protect our child without being enabling. People make mistakes. Young people make lots of mistakes. Young people wBPD make more. Some mistakes are more serious than others. Even if your child has been guilty of a crime it doesn't mean they are going to be a criminal for the rest of their life. They need the help and assistance sometimes only a parent can provide. You can read more here... .

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=211658.0

[hurthusband]

The frustrating part is the school is basically not saying anything.  Just that he could be registered as a sex offender over this.  I do not trust this to turn out right because I do not trust the school district as they are inept in their teaching and handling children and I do not trust the police because I have been harrassed police myself when I was younger just cause I was successful at work and had a nice car... and I have not even a speeding ticket on my record.

Sorry... just got a call 20 minutes ago my grandfather is looking at 2 days to 2 weeks to live too... so bit overwhelmed.  trying to get to my doctors appointment but my keys are locked in my car right now...

[ForeverDad]

I agree about the caution not to obsess or have 'catastrophic' thinking.  Your chaotic life with your disordered spouse has made you prone to getting hit hard by the endless chaos and potential disasters.

Similarly, this teenager also has been living in close proximity to his mother, surely that exposure has impacted him developmentally as well!

As an example, I recall that when my son was a preschooler and I had not yet separated, I really became concerned he was slightly autistic, even asking the pediatrician.  He seldom looked me in the eye and other things.  However, I concluded it was primarily his exposure to his mother's rants and rages.  It was not his issues, it was his environment.  In support of that, I recall his therapist expecting to wind down the sessions when our divorce was final.  Even his T could see it wasn't him, it was the conflict and dysfunction that delayed his development and maturity.

This world is getting wacky too, kids get suspended for "finger guns" and bringing nail clippers to school.

[momtara]

Sounds like even more going on at once. I hope you can talk to a therapist or crisis counselor to help manage all these things.

[hurthusband]

well got the story.  apparantly this girl in another class asked him for nude photos of women for a friend of hers.  This girl is best friends with this girl my son likes.  Apparantly she is also known for also sending nude photos of herself around the school too.  Total mess...

On top of that, the school interrogated my son without the presence of a parent.  They said a school administrator they feel can act in lew of a parent on an interrogation.  Then they brought up some site that somebody at the school keeps putting online that called ******ISDHoes which apparantly is a site that none of the parents know about but the school does where there are nude images of the school districts women being put up. Whole thing is messed up from top to bottom

[Skip]

Are the police involved? Was he arrested?  Is there an arrest pending?

[hurthusband]

He was not arrested at this time.  The police are always involved in this sort of thing and his phone has been sent to a forensic division to be analyzed to see if the pictures are of a student in the school district.  IF they are, then yes... arrest and so fort will be forth coming even if he was just passing them on and did not know who or anything about what they are exactly.

The school will not return calls or anything at this time neither on the subject nor answer any questions.  We just have to wait apparantly

[Skip]

Have you advised your son on how to handle this - especially if arrested or questioned by police?  Have you contacted an attorney?

[livednlearned]

You'll want to contact an attorney even if there is no arrest pending. The school may be handling the matter in a way that will be of interest to the L. Consultations are often $100 or so for 30 min, you won't have to post a retainer just to consult. If you already don't trust the school district, then it's even more important to contact an L.

[hurthusband]

Yes. I need to advise my wife and his father on that sort of thing.  I am curious at how the district is handling it from questioning him without a parent etc. All in all though, if he has the photos he is in trouble either way.  We have talked with him to ask for a parent in any situation at any questioning and not to talk to any friends or anyone else about it