I'm a brand new member

[AlexiaD]

My daughter has recently been given a working diagnosis of BPD, and while one part of me is horribly sad for her regarding this diagnosis, there is another part of me that feels validated and therefore guilty. Validated that someone finally sees what I do, and believes there is a serious problem, and guilty because I feel validated by this. As her mother, I want the very best for her, and this is certainly not it. I'm wondering if other parents have had these feelings and can point me to a discussion topic where this has been discussed. I feel very alone, and while I do know analytically that I am not unique, that my feelings aren't either, there is no one in my immediate support group/family who understands. I hope I've come to the right place to find that understanding.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

AlexiaD... .hello!  and  


Happy to have you here and sorry to hear of your daughter's diagnoses.  BPD is a cruel disorder and can be heartbreaking for parents of children suffering from it.

Your feelings are normal AlexiaD.  We have all experienced that sense of relief and validation when someone... .a professional especially... .tells us "yes, you were right to be concerned.  Your daughter has some serious issues that need to be addressed".  Why?  Because we were told by well meaning family and friends that:

you are over reacting... .all kids do that

you are over protective... .let them fail... .they will learn

you let them get away with too much... .they are just spoiled

and the ever popular... .they will grow out of it

Deep down... .in ourselves... .we knew all along that something was terribly wrong and no one would listen.

So!  I pushed away those feelings of guilt and told myself... .ok... .your instincts are strong. Now follow them.

lbj

Here is a current thread that might interest you:  Do we feel guilty about the thoughts and feelings we have?

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You've come to the right place.  I know this is hard 

So what is happening?  How old is she?  What is the working diagnosis all about.

We have members here that have seen their loved ones through to recovery.  There is hope.

Tell us more.