New book about NPD and high conflict personality

[bravhart1]

I just got it today but so far it seems good. It's called "Will I Ever Be Free Of You?"

The title definitely got my attention! LOL

[livednlearned]

Thanks! I'm curious if it describes my experience. Somewhere I read that more narcissistic types tend to engage in the constant court warfare approach, which certainly applied to my situation.

Did the narcissistic person in your life eventually start dating someone? When my ex began dating, he sort of disappeared. I figured it was a new narcissistic supply. It coincided with the judge terminating visitation, something that he could've appealed but didn't.

If it's a good book, let us know 

[bravhart1]

No, my husbands ex gf will not, does not date. First of all she's not a very nice person in general. Secondly she says that of course she has dedicated her entire life to her only child. 

I wish with my very being she would find someone else to fixate on besides poor SD6 and our family, but after going on like this for four years, I'm afraid the writing is pretty clear on that wall.

[bravhart1]

Oh! And yes so far the book is great. It's actually helping me with something I've struggled with, which is how my DH ever had the bad judgement to get together with her to begin with and why he stayed so lonnngggg... .

It's the only thing about him that after knowing him for six years ( we were friends for years before it became romantic) that I just can't make line up in my head. The man I know would never put up with such nonsense and drama, and yet he did. 


I feel like it would help those struggling with feeling guilty about sticking their child with such a bad parent and forgiving themselves for making a bad relationship decision.

The book definitely covers a lot of ground regarding NPD/BPD's propensity for liking and desiring court drama. Makes me sick, but these are our lives.

[Eco]

I will have to check that book out as my ex is more than likely N she has strong N traits.

I feel like it would help those struggling with feeling guilty about sticking their child with such a bad parent and forgiving themselves for making a bad relationship decision.

I am going through this as well and im struggling hard with guilt, everytime I bring my daughter back I feel like im lowering her into the pits of hell. I feel like I am supposed to protect my daughter and when I bring her back to my ex im putting her in harms way.

[Turkish]

I got about a quarter of the way though it yesterday, up to the point where he starts discussing the court issues. While my Ex isn't NPD, I realize that she was (is?) self-centered and narcissistic in many ways. It can be hard to seperate that out from a pwBPD, but it's the traits and behaviors we're dealing with, not a diagnosis. One of the resources he lists at the end is the book The Power of Validation, too, another good book.

Good so far, thanks for the recommendation.

[drummerboy]

Thanks for the heads up about that book.

I've just finished reading a book that applies to our relationships: "The Human Magnet Theory" It explains that most of our partners were N emotional manipulators and it talks about BPD a lot in this context. Basically it says that every BPD will be a N emotional manipulator and it helped explain a lot of my exes behaviour. It also explains how these people will be magnetically attracted to a person with strong co dependent tendencies and vice versa and that the relationships actually work, in a very dysfunctional way as both are too terrified of ending them. In my case it made me feel better because it meant that I wasn't submissive enough for my exes needs which is why she dumped me and went back to the ex before me who is a total doormat/no self esteem/codependent. Much better for her than me who expected her to stand on her own two feet for the first time in her life.

[bravhart1]

Update on the book... .I've finished it and found it to have a lot of great advice for managing your child's damage from having a parent with PD whether it's BPD or NPD I still think it's a fine line between the two. The empathy component and how to help them manage was very sound.

The most interesting thing to come of the book however is the pilot program for high conflict divorce cases that she hopes to put into effect. While I found the idea to be sound, the details were a bit vague. But interesting overall.

Don't know about you guys, but I'm always wondering just when and how we can get the court system to recognize these "special" people and the need for a different kind of order in able to protect the children sooner, with less stress to the non PD parent and without bankrupting the family. The pilot program might be on the right track.