Saw her

[Deeno02]

Saw her at a stop light today. First real look I've had in 6 months. I doubt she saw me as I was I car length off to the side. Funny, made my heart race and jump into my throat. Looking at her made my emotions trip. I felt overwhelmed by sadness, longing and, yes, love. I loved this woman with all I had. I wish I didn't feel this way. I know I mean nothing to her, probably never did. But it was real to me. She's moved on and I was merely a pit stop until someone better came along. I wish I could put this behind me.

[jhkbuzz]

Saw her at a stop light today. First real look I've had in 6 months. I doubt she saw me as I was I car length off to the side. Funny, made my heart race and jump into my throat. Looking at her made my emotions trip. I felt overwhelmed by sadness, longing and, yes, love. I loved this woman with all I had. I wish I didn't feel this way. I know I mean nothing to her, probably never did. But it was real to me. She's moved on and I was merely a pit stop until someone better came along. I wish I could put this behind me.

That "heart race" and jump in your throat was your "fight or flight" response.  Very difficult to manage... .it's a body-level recognition that something in the vicinity is dangerous.

6 months is not a long time out... .you WILL eventually put it behind you.

[cloudten]

I know this feeling. Expect it to happen again... .especially if you see her with someone. I think that was the most devastating incident for me was seeing my replacement. I also had the flight or flight response when I saw his dad or his friends. Its part of the territory I think, but it doesn't diminish how much it hurts. 

[wavelife]

I know exactly how you felt!  The couple of times a have seen her my heart raced like crazy.  Good news is it is getting less.  I drove by her last week and she smiled and waved at me.  I just looked right through her and did not wave.  Kind of cold but I had sunglasses on and she probably thinks I did not see her.  My heart sped up for a few seconds but it quickly went away.  It is getting better with time.

[Their Dad]

Saw her at a stop light today. First real look I've had in 6 months. I doubt she saw me as I was I car length off to the side. Funny, made my heart race and jump into my throat. Looking at her made my emotions trip. I felt overwhelmed by sadness, longing and, yes, love. I loved this woman with all I had. I wish I didn't feel this way. I know I mean nothing to her, probably never did. But it was real to me. She's moved on and I was merely a pit stop until someone better came along. I wish I could put this behind me.

That "heart race" and jump in your throat was your "fight or flight" response.  Very difficult to manage... .it's a body-level recognition that something in the vicinity is dangerous.

6 months is not a long time out... .you WILL eventually put it behind you.

So interesting. I get the same way when I see my ex or even when she calls.  I spoke with and old friend/neighbor recently and discussed the divorce and my ex's various assertions of blame and put downs.  He and his wife never noticed any my ex is allegeding.  (And they were at our house a lot.)  I am looking forward to this these feelings being behind me.