Hi. It's been a while since I've posted here but I wanted to post an update on how things are going.
Super quick recap - almost 2 yr relationship, 1 year marriage to a BPD multiple-personality trans woman. I took on a caretaker role and completely lost all sense of myself and neglected my own needs during the process. Her BPD got out of control (she won't even admit she has it) and I somehow woke up. She moved out 7 months ago, divorce was final just before Christmas.
We have been completely no contact (except for one day last year when I was refinancing my condo and she had to sign some documents), I haven't run into her in public, and I've deleted the old email address she used to contact me. I've really really been trying to move on.
I've been skimming over some of your posts and wanted to say that I promise it is going to get better with time. It's really important to do complete no contact in order to heal. I know it's hard and you want to know what's going on with them, but part of healing is learning to let go and that it's not your responsibility to take care of them anymore. It's taking me a long time to figure this out.
I just recently forced myself to stop looking at her online dating profile when her latest update said she was basically doing sex work now. I was horrified and realized I'm done. Just done. Whoever she was when we were together, she is not that person now and perhaps never was.
It's imperative that I stop checking up on her. She's got to figure out her own life and I have to figure out mine.
Anyway... .that's my story.
