E-mailing Psychiatrist

[Shell Shocked]

Maybe a silly question, but this is all new to me.  Yesterday the psychiatrist asked me to send him an e-mail detailing all of our biological mental illness in our family.  Anything I can think of.  Anyone with a diagnosis, treatment, and even those that I thought should have had some kind of treatment.  Also wants details of my daughter's birth, my pregnancy, etc... and details about former therapists.  What worked, what didn't, why we stopped going, etc...  

All extremely valid and important information for him to have.  But as I am sitting here compiling the information I am wondering if it is a good idea to e-mail this sensitive information.  Does anyone see a reason why this would be a bad idea?  or am I just overthinking it?  Clearly it is the fastest and most efficient way to send it.

Thanks!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Rapt Reader]

I'm not a tech expert in any sense of the word, Shell Shocked    but a Psychiatrist open-minded enough to want to know that information, and willing to incorporate it into a treatment strategy for your child, is very valuable.

I have given, and continue to give, my own son's Out-Patient Therapist, Neurofeedback Therapist, and his Psychiatrist that type of information by email because it is easy, quick, and I can type it up late at night when everyone else is asleep, knowing his Professional(s) will have that information to see the next morning.

Having a Therapist/Psychiatrist keep you in the loop, valuing your insights and opinions and version of reality, is worth its weight in gold... .

I'm really happy that you have this type of Professional involved in your daughter's care, Shell Shocked... .If you feel comfortable that your emails will be safe inside your computer, that your daughter won't access them (if that is your main concern), and that the information will be kept confidential by the Psychiatrist, then maybe it should be all right for you to do?

I've never worried about my son reading what I've written because he can't even get into my laptop to get it fired up; he doesn't know my password (and the question the laptop will ask if it is forgotten is cryptic by my design). If he did ever figure out how to get into it, he doesn't know my password to my email account. Actually, no one but me knows any of that information, so no one but me can access anything I'm doing on my laptop    (No computer whizzes in my family at all... .)

[lbjnltx]

I can understand your concern Shell Shocked.

My daughter's therapists email was hacked once about 3 years ago and the hackers were using his contacts to try to scam money.  I was suspicious so I emailed them a few questions which they almost got the answers right to!  so they def had access to the email exchanges I had with the therapist.

My best suggestion is that you not use names... .keep it general like:

Paternal grandmother

"My daughter" instead of her name

[Shell Shocked]

Thank you for the advice!  I already sent the e-mail and did use my daughter's name - but I had used things like maternal grandmother and sibling #1, etc...   so not too much personally identifying information.  I like that the psych wants all of these things too.  He was very compassionate and I felt heard and not judged when we met with him.  I am hoping my daughter feels the same when she meets with him.  Right now she knows she isn't "ok" but I am not sure if she has any idea what could be troubling her.  She is really smart and may have looked for answers on her own, I would not be surprised if she has heard about or read about both bi-polar and borderline as well as other personality disorders.  I am not sure if she is aware enough to apply the behaviors to herself.  She outwardly blames me for pretty much everything that goes wrong in her life.  She tells me that she hates me all the time (except when she wants something from me but she still really isn't "nice" to me then) and she can't wait to move out of my house.  She seems to think that everything will be better then.

She has never been receptive to counseling but she does not sleep and is often awake for days on end.  She cycles rapidly and has been missing a lot of school.  Even she admits she needs help for the "sleep problem" and that is what I am going with.  Let's get the sleep issue under control.  The psych said not to beat myself up and after taking her history he told me she is a "tough case" but he will help her.  He said she is coming from a place of great pain and it sounds like it has been going on for a while.

This site and the resources have been helpful.  I am trying to learn how to make her feel heard (boy it was sure nice that I felt heard when I met with the psych!) and validated without enabling the terrible behaviors she exhibits.  I am trying to get my husband on board.  This is hard.  I am trying to look at her as emotionally disabled and it does help.  He can't get past her being manipulative and causing havoc in our home.  He is leaving for a trip and I have armed him with a lot of books to read so it isn't coming from me and he doesn't feel like I am blaming him.  I told him that when I point things out to him it isn't that I am blaming him, I am just sharing because I am reading and learning.  I told him that if he only knew how much I challenge, judge, and evaluate my own behaviors he would feel much less that I think he is "the bad guy."

I am currently taking care of myself (something I never do) but having a solo breakfast at Panera with a cup of tea and catching up on some reading.  (Probably should have tried to do pleasure reading instead but I am catching up on my Valerie Porr book - perhaps I will take 10 more min to read something fun before I head back home.)  Since my husband travels often and I have 5 other young children, including a young baby (who I also homeschool) the whole taking time for myself thing is almost non-existent.  I recognize it is important though and I will try harder.

[Rapt Reader]

It sounds like you are really on the right track, Shell Shocked 

Your daughter's Psychiatrist sounds like a good, experienced guy, and I have hopes that he will help her very much... .My own son's Psych has been great for him, and the right Professional(s) in place can really make all the difference to our child's treatment and recovery.

Have you had the chance to read all of the links to the right-hand side of this page yet? Also be sure to check out the Feature Articles (also found under the 4 photos at the top of the Parenting Board's thread listing page). All of them are very helpful and pertinent, but Supporting a Child in Therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder would be particularly apropos for you right now. I found that Article to be stellar   

I think it's great that you are taking time to pamper yourself (especially with your familial obligations!), and I sometimes need to center myself when I'm "doing" for everyone else by asking myself: "What would make me happy right now? What is my first priority to me?" Sometimes a meal at Panera Bread could fit right into that plan   

Valerie Porr's book, "Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder" is a wonderful choice for you to be reading; so many of us parents on this Board have found it insightful and life-changing... .And your tactic with providing your Husband reading materials for his trip is really a good one; let the experts tell him what he needs to know so that you don't have to! Good job, Shell Shocked... .

Thanks for keeping us in the loop, and I really hope that you daughter responds well to Therapy, and that your Husband can be a good help-mate for you in this endeavor... .When does she see the Psychiatrist?