I feel used and easily disposable how to get rid of these feelings ?

[Kasina]

Thankyou limboFL,

For the empathy and understanding .

I have decided that I won't have him in my life no matter how hard it is,I will remain NC.

I have made my decision and I know it a deeper level this is the right decision for me to move on without him in my life.

It's just it takes te in getting there and I am trying my best.

Whenever I feel like m at my breaking point I come here and post instead ruminating over my ex.

X

[sun seeker]

 Hey kasina

You said you talked To a male  friend about you exBPD. You should ask yourself ? Why is this guy I invited into my personal situation talking so negative and saying  his thoughts with no evidence to support his accusations. (He doesnt care for you)(he doesnt know your ex has BPD). sends huge   .

And ask yourself what agenda could he have. ( trying to hook up with you or something else drama queen) something is off here.

My T made a valid point"if you are going to dicuss your personal r/s with someone you better be 100% that this person is a friend of the realationship" .  In other words talk to someone who truly cares about the r/s you are in or trying fix. I promise you a true friend of the realationship would never say the things your male "friend" said . (Better boundries are in order here on your part) bad advice is as easliy followed as good advice.

   I would never consider the person you are talking to a friend of the r/s.

   There is a great book about boundries in a r/s it called "Not Just Friends" By Shirley P. Glass PHD. My exBPDgf and i tried to read this together and she could not  get a 1/4 way through this book with out crying uncontrollably , she broke all the rules for a healthy r/s in this book.

I tried and tried to help my r/s work. It did not help her at all it however did help me a great deal.

[Kasina]

Hello sun seeker,

I can't thank you enough for pointing this out to me,I really appeteciate you talking time out to read my post and replying to it.

Yes this friend of mine was never a well wisher of my r/s with my BPD ex as he was untreated himself in dating with me but I had made it clear to him that I don't like him that way.

I usually never talk about my r/a with him but that one time I was really hurt and vulnerabl so I blurted out a few things about my ex.i didn't gave him any detail or anything,he just found out from one of our mutual friend that I had broken up with my ex and that he was with someone else ...

He is not that of a good friend and though after that meet up,he's trying to get in touch with me and he left some texts the other day that he wanted to go out with me but I refused politely .

I have no intention of talking to him or meeting up with again and in future I be more careful to surround myself with ppl who really care about me when I m feeling vulnerable and sad.

Thankyou