How do I know if I presented myself as a victim when I was younger

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I can remember as a teenager that I was a very emotional person. Dating and relationships were all very unhealthy and I used to cry a lot and get emotional, when it was happening I don't recall thinking "I am going to do this for attention" but looking back I see that it probably was for attention.

I'm in my 30s now and in a good place but after my divorce from my uNPex, I often think about all these things from my childhood that I don't think were really ever dealt with. I've done T for me and still sometimes go when dealing with my ex or my husbands ex, who is uBPD and with the issues that arise with out kids.

I just want to be the healthiest I can be and answer my own questions about my past.

[Swiggle]

I can remember as a teenager that I was a very emotional person. Dating and relationships were all very unhealthy and I used to cry a lot and get emotional, when it was happening I don't recall thinking "I am going to do this for attention" but looking back I see that it probably was for attention.

I'm in my 30s now and in a good place but after my divorce from my uNPex, I often think about all these things from my childhood that I don't think were really ever dealt with. I've done T for me and still sometimes go when dealing with my ex or my husbands ex, who is uBPD and with the issues that arise with out kids.

I just want to be the healthiest I can be and answer my own questions about my past.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Swiggle,

I admire your courage to delve into this issue.  I suspect that many of us who have been in a r/s with a pwBPD have struggled with low self-esteem, codependency and/or victimhood.  It sort of goes with the territory.  When you're a child, you're like a sponge because you lack the ability to filter out the negative experiences and messages.  But now, as adults, we get to keep the harmful things out and allow the helpful things in, which is one lesson I learned from my BPDxW.

LuckyJim