intro

[ibhunting1]

In the last year I have come to realize that my wife of 20 years almost certainly has BPD. I went to a clinical psychologist and explained in detail what I had been witnessing and experiencing all these years and he believes this to almost certainly be the issue of which I am dealing. Understandably he did say he cant say with 100% accuracy unless she is willing to see him with an open mind - but as most of us know this is not going to happen, at least in the near future.

This is my introduction at this point but I feel fortunate to have found this group and look forward to being involved.

IB

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Crumbling]

 Hi, IB! 

Welcome.  There are lots of members here who have significant others (SO) who are undiagnosed.  My BPD husband and I have been together over ten years, and it was only this past year that he was diagnosed, sort of.  It was with a councillor that he did the testing or whatever, so technically he isn't officially diagnosed, which he likes to remind me of, if I slip and mention it.   

There's lots of great information on this site, and lots of people here to listen.  I started with the Before you can make anything better link on the right side of the page, and there is a great link at the bottom about safety, should that apply to you.

Thanks for the intro! 

Crumbsy

   

[formflier]

 

I'm glad you found us.  Look the the right of the screen... you will see "the lessons".

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=56206

A link is above.  That is the best place to start... .post questions about your reading back here.

Can you tell us more about what behaviors you are seeing?

Heads up... .don't tell your wife about this forum... .at least for now.  Usually it doesn't go well if they find out.

FF

[vortex of confusion]

 

I would like to welcome you to the forums as well! I have been with my husband for almost 17 years. I didn't know that BPD existed until I found these forums. As I read stuff, it was like a huge light bulb went off.

I can't say enough good about the lessons that are available. Like Form Flier said, it might be a good idea to not mention these boards to your spouse. That will give you time and space to think about the lessons and try to figure out ways that you can implement them in order regain some kind of footing.