Do they often call you ignorant or is that just my siblings thing?

[ropend]

Got accused of not knowing much because I haven't "lived in the real world".

When I asked what it was I didn't know about she dodged it repeatedly and continued to make a fool of herself.

[hope2727]

My siblings are very educated with multiple degrees. I used to have a 2 year diploma but now have a brand new BSc in addition. Yet my siblings would totally disrespect my knowledge even in my area of expertise. They would call and ask advice re: my profession. Then when I explained the answer they would respond "no you are wrong". It is/was extremely frustrating and invalidating.

My favourites when one of my sisters touts pseudo science. For instance she will tell me I eat food with to many chemicals in it. It should be noted my recently completed degree is primarily chemistry. I have realized on this recovery journey with my ex-fiancee with BPD that my siblings show strong cluster B traits too. (I show some myself.) Anyhow it has made me realize once again the importance of boundaries and the need to not JADE. If she wants to believe I eat chemicals so be it. I cook them in dihydrogen oxide too. I know I know I am a rebel. Anyway, the point is yes they think I am stupid and a horrible person. Meanwhile they still hoard and look like homeless people and can't hold jobs or relationships so whatever.

I wish I had a big loving family but I don't. So if they think I'm ignorant its irrelevant. I just need to live my best life and hopefully good people will come into it and make it rich and full. If not I'll get a dog.

[clljhns]

  ropend,

Got accused of not knowing much because I haven't "lived in the real world".

When I asked what it was I didn't know about she dodged it repeatedly and continued to make a fool of herself.

Can you tell us a little more about the relationship with your sibling? Do you see signs of BPD in your sibling? At the very least, this is very invalidating for a person to make these statements.

Looking forward to hearing more about the situation. 

[ropend]

 ropend,

Got accused of not knowing much because I haven't "lived in the real world".

When I asked what it was I didn't know about she dodged it repeatedly and continued to make a fool of herself.

Can you tell us a little more about the relationship with your sibling? Do you see signs of BPD in your sibling? At the very least, this is very invalidating for a person to make these statements.

Looking forward to hearing more about the situation. 

Don't worry about me she lives far away and I only see her about once a year.

What's more I know she has BPD and some people who have training in psychology who've had to deal with her have told me the same.

It doesn't actually hurt me since it's obvious she's wrong.

It just makes it easy for me to see how messed up and pathetic she is.

[clljhns]

Hi ropend,

Even though your sibling lives far from you, do you think that you are still affected by some of her statements and actions? Just thinking that since you posted the question, it might still be on your mind. I know that when I think about some of the hurtful things my two sisters have said and done, I realize how much I don't want to be anywhere near them again, for fear that they might repeat their actions. I am still working on this, because in reality, I would like to have a relationship with them at some point in the future. If nothing else, just LC with a check in every now and again.

Is this something that you would want?

Take care and looking forward to hearing from you. 

[ropend]

Hi ropend,

Even though your sibling lives far from you, do you think that you are still affected by some of her statements and actions? Just thinking that since you posted the question, it might still be on your mind. I know that when I think about some of the hurtful things my two sisters have said and done, I realize how much I don't want to be anywhere near them again, for fear that they might repeat their actions. I am still working on this, because in reality, I would like to have a relationship with them at some point in the future. If nothing else, just LC with a check in every now and again.

Is this something that you would want?

Take care and looking forward to hearing from you. 

I do still care about her.

But I frequently find her irritating.

And then there are those times when in retrospect she's clearly having an episode.

[Gerda]

I don't know if this is how it works in your situation, but my BPD mom and sis act like I'm a complete idiot a lot of the time. Sometimes it's just because they like to argue, but sometimes I think it's actual gaslighting behavior.

If they convince me that I'm a moron and don't know what I'm talking about, then if I complain about anything they do, well, "You just don't know what you're talking about!"

Maybe being smart/educated/knowledgeable is seen as a threat.

Just a guess.

By the way, I have a Master's degree in Biology and teach at a community college. I'm by far the most educated person in my family. But they still act like I'm a complete idiot.

I guess we just have to try and not let it get to us.