Just joined

[Namaha]

Mom had BPD and Dad was active alcoholic growing up. Both have passed. Although I have love and forgiveness for them I see how my and my siblings lives and relationships, especially with eachother, have been impacted by our upbringing. I'm looking to find new ways to approach them and my life.  Healthy ways to approach all my relationships starting first with honoring and cherishing myself.

[Kwamina]

Hi Namaha

Thanks for posting this introduction and welcome to our online community

Having one parent with BPD and the other an alcoholic, isn't an easy thing to deal with at all. I am sorry you were faced with this tough situation. Your parents have both passed but was your mother ever officially diagnosed with BPD or any other disorder and did she perhaps get treatment? Did your father ever get treatment for his alcohol problems?

It is an unfortunate reality that when you're raised in a dysfunctional environment you'll often to a certain extent find yourself struggling in your adult life too. In what ways do you feel the relationships between you and your siblings has been influenced by your upbringing? How would you describe your current relationship with them?

To help you heal and move forward, it might help to take a look at the survivors' guide for adults who suffered childhood abuse. You can find this guide to the right of this message board. The guide takes you from survivor to thriver through three major stages: Remembering --> Mourning --> Healing. Each stage consists of 7 steps. When you look at the survivors' guide, where would you say you are right now?

[clljhns]

  Namaha,

I want to join Kwamina in welcoming you to the BPD Family!

I am glad you are here to find helpful tools to build a healthy relationship with your siblings, and to begin your own healing journey. 

I have a mom who is uBPD and a dad that I believe is NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). Home was a vey chaotic and unfriendly environment. I never knew what my mother would be like each day when I got from school. The constant worry about whether she would be in a rage or depressed caused me to struggle in school. I didn't know what was wrong with her until I entered college and started taking psychology courses. Then a light bulb went on.  It was still many years before I started to work on my own healing.

What have you done for yourself to start the healing process?

Let us know how we can help.