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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: how much did drinking affect your relationship  (Read 587 times)
confusedinWI
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« on: May 17, 2015, 03:49:36 PM »

My ex gf also want a drinker. I didn't notice how bad until after we moved in together. At the end it got to wear she would hide vodka bottles.  If we had a party I would be worried how much sbe would drink because of the eventual verbal abuse and argument that would happen later.

How did drinking affect your relationship. What happened
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DyingLove
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« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2015, 04:02:53 PM »

My ex gf also want a drinker. I didn't notice how bad until after we moved in together. At the end it got to wear she would hide vodka bottles.  If we had a party I would be worried how much sbe would drink because of the eventual verbal abuse and argument that would happen later.

How did drinking affect your relationship. What happened

I am/was an occasional drinker. Maybe a heineken once or twice a year with a burger or pizza.  My ex wasn't really a drinker, at least not with me.  We did buy a bottle of Rum and a bottle of DiSorono.  Those bottles still had content after a year.  We had a couple of drinks.  Didn't do anything for her, headache, but they were tasty.

Her second husband was into drinking and made her drink also.  He has lots and lots of problems.  He was probably a MAJOR factor in her disorder.  I wouldn't say the only problem, but it all started WAY before I was in the picture.  Makes me feel good to admit that. Her step dad was a drug abuser and alcoholic too.  Lots of dysfunction in her upbringing.  Too bad I had to get the blunt end of it all!
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Mr.Downtrodden
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« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2015, 06:22:34 PM »

My ex GF was a high functioning alcoholic.

She used to kid me by saying ":)on't feel you have to keep up with me"

Her drinking was and likely still is quite heavy.  At the time, I rolled with it, yet little incidents which I was not involved with (she tried her darndest to hide her behaviors from me) would drop hints as to what was potentially going on behind the scenes.

In short - she is a bipolar/BPD with hypersexual disorder, which is amp'd up tenfold by her excessive boozing.  I didn't find out how bad it was until it was too late. I had been bamboozled with promises and desires.
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ADecadeLost
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« Reply #3 on: May 17, 2015, 06:55:39 PM »

I drank extremely sparingly during my 10 years with my dBPD ex-wife.  I learned early in the relationship (while we were still in college) that there came a point where drinking in excess caused her to completely dysregulate.  After a few of these episodes, it became clear that it was in my best interest to avoid situations where there was the possibility of her drinking to the point of dysregulation.  Easiest way to do this was to not drink myself.  As a result, I drank to the point of being drunk very few times over the course of our ten years.

Post-separation and divorce, I no longer had this restriction on my drinking habits.  This doesn't mean I drink to the point of being drunk with regularity (or even drink at all with regularity), but that I can without fear of repercussions.  So now when a party or social event arises, and I'm not driving, I'm free to drink if I feel like it.  It's a nice change even if it only influences an uncommon behavior.

ADL
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