Notify ex of blocking?

[psynp33]

I've tried and failed to not respond to my ex's texts and calls.

I would like to consider blocking her phone/text.

We work in the same institution, but rarely see each other.

Sometimes she finds me and corners me in my office when angry.

I do NOT need to receive her texts or calls for professional reasons.

Do I need to notify her or can I just stop responding?

(We've been broken up for three months, so I just want space.)

[ReluctantSurvivor]

It all depends on the individual.  If it was me I would communicate that the break up has been very difficult and that I need room to detach and work on myself, which includes an end to all contact.  If that cannot be respected they are being blocked anyway and you can at least have some self respect for being a decent person and trying to communicate your needs before blacklisting.

[cosmonaut]

Yes, unless your ex is toxic/abusive I would.  I think it's the decent thing to do.  I think it's fair to calmly explain what you are doing and why.  Allow them to respond and ask some questions if they need to do so.  Make clear if this is forever or for some other length of time.  Do what you would want them to do to you if the situation was reversed.

If you do have a toxic/abusive ex, then I would maybe send them a letter explaining things and instructing that they not contact you, or if even that will cause drama then simply go NC.

Just my 2 cents.

[dagwoodbowser]

Hello psynp33. I am on day 39 today and last two weeks I was soo determined, but for whatever reason today I'm having one of those days where I want to crack and tomorrow I hit day 40? This is not easy, but it's nothing like the first 2 weeks. In my particular situation after she dropped me for the 4th time in almost 3 years and each recycle turned out worse, this last time I wrote her a brief email. I outlined that I had Blocked her calls and texts. I downloaded an app for my phone called Blacklist, it's free. I also mentioned that I placed email settings on my Google email account to Delete the 2 main addresses she used. You can set the account up so that a known address are Deleted so that you Dont even have to know or see emails. I recommend this if your serious about N/C. In the email I told her that I cared for her but I could no longer live or handle the way she treated me and asked that she please respect my wishes for no contact. I "personally" did the above mentioned for my following reasons:

1. In the past, she would typically break her silence after 80-90 days, either by text or email. She knows Exactly what to say to trigger me and my emotions about her. Unfortunately, I am still learning to pay attention to what she actually Does vs. what she says. It never lines up. She's a pathological liar. What would end up happeneing is I would respond and before I knew it we were meeting up and BAM! We were back on.

2. I told her I was Blocking her to let her as well as MYSELF that I was serious and that the particular email I was sending would be my last. In a sense, I am telling myself that my Own Word is Law, so it's really more for me.

3. While I still care for and love her very much, I have learned by my personal experience and so many other experiences on this Board that things will never change. She's not willing to do any work or get help. The last rebound just about killed and destroyed me. It's either her or me. I've already selflessly given her the best of me and she cant give back, she cant. So, I have to make sure I'm Not triggered, seduced and that eventually I will be able to Detach.

This may not be for you, but this is how I handled my situation to keep me determined and let her know that for a change... .I'm the one setting the Rules and boundaries, not her.

Good luck man! Hang tough... .

[Mutt]

Hi psynp33,



I don't think there's a right or wrong.

It may be trickier in your case because you work in the same institution.

She corners you in your office.

I'm sorry to hear that.

What does she say?