Words from a supporter

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

ME:  I'm very weak today B.  I want to contact her so bad.  Talk some sense into me please. Was like that all weekend.

HIM:  Why would you put your hand back in a meat grinder that had already chewed of two of your fingers?  We both know you are smarter than that!

ME: I keep telling myself that.  I've been spending too much time in my own head.  I'm sure as the weather lifts, I'll get out and clear the cobwebs, but it's been a terrible weekend and it's hard to find someone that understands.  I know you understand.

Simple response, to the point, no pussyfooting about it.  Why can't I ALWAYS remember that MEATGRINDER?

[DyingLove]

ME:  I'm very weak today B.  I want to contact her so bad.  Talk some sense into me please. Was like that all weekend.

HIM:  Why would you put your hand back in a meat grinder that had already chewed of two of your fingers?  We both know you are smarter than that!

ME: I keep telling myself that.  I've been spending too much time in my own head.  I'm sure as the weather lifts, I'll get out and clear the cobwebs, but it's been a terrible weekend and it's hard to find someone that understands.  I know you understand.

Simple response, to the point, no pussyfooting about it.  Why can't I ALWAYS remember that MEATGRINDER?

[fromheeltoheal]

Meatgrinder's a little harsh, but whatever works man!  We have mixed emotions coming out of these relationships, and it's helpful to make a list of all of the behaviors exhibited by your ex that were unacceptable to you, but that you tolerated anyway.  The list will grow with time, as you remember things, and you can use it as a tool to adjust your focus to what your head knows is right, even though your heart is protesting.  With time, you can look at why you put up with what you did, where that came from, what it all means, but for now just better to focus on the bad, as a detachment tool.  Take care of you!