why does it matter?

[shatterd]

desisions,   should i care what my ex thinks or feels anymore? I have to make choices, jobs placecs to live freinds and so on, shood i consider her feelings? were done this time, so, not understanding her thoughts now. No contact except for the kids, seams to have gliches yes? Even tho its over now   im stumped on this   i dont want to hurt her, my situation, i feel its survival now, any thoughts?

[enlighten me]

You should do what is best for you and your kids. I also have considered what my exs would think of decisions I make. Would they approve, would it make them jealous etc.

Now I couldnt care less. Its my life to live as I please with only myself to answer to. Yes i still will get a buzz from the thought of them being jealous of something i do but i wont chose to do it because of them.

[shatterd]

when they think diffrntly than us    do they sit and plot this out or is it just natural? like they dont no better

[enlighten me]

They dont often plan they react. They react to their feelings. This is why you have them blowing hot and cold and seem to constantly change their stance on things.

You can manipulate their behaviour by how you behave. By not reacting and by always staying calm you can eventually get to a calm interaction.

[shatterd]

ya she reacts for sure always does, but i gota do what i gota do now, very controlling on her part

[enlighten me]

When they loose that control on you they may lash out but stay strong and stick to your path. It gets easier.

[shatterd]

ya shes makein it hard