I have a 43 year old daughter

[Meeow]

I have a 43 year old daughter who has not to my knowledge been diagnosed with Borderline,  but whom over the years has continuously exhibited the symptoms. Eighteen months ago I began seeing a counselor who had me read Walking on Eggshells.  I see my daughter on almost every page.

I really need more help... .

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[tristesse]

Hello Meeow

Welcome to bpdfamily, we are glad you're here.

I Want to assure you that everybody here will their very best to help you gain understanding, and the best place to start would be the lessons and tools to the right side of this board.

I would love to hear more about your daughter (dd), and what symptoms you are having the most trouble with. Does your dd live with you or independently of you?

The more information you can give, the better we will be able to guide and help you, please continue to post.

Again, I want to say, Welcome, I'm glad you found us.

[lbjnltx]

Hi Meeow,

Welcome to bpdfamily and the Parent's Board.  We are happy that you found us though sorry to hear that your daughter has traits of BPD.  Coping with the relationship issues that arise can be very hurtful and confusing for us parents.  How is your relationship with your daughter now?  Are you in close and frequent contact with her?

"Stop Walking on Eggshells" was the first book (also given to me by my daughter's therapist) I read that introduced me to my daughter's suffering and belief systems.  Did you find any helpful strategies in the book that you would like to talk about with us here?  Maybe... .validation or SET?

Here are a few links on those skills that you might find helpful:

Don't React, Respond with S.E.T.

Communication Skills-Validation


We have many coping and communication skills that can help you and your relationship with your daughter.  Having practical, healthy, and helpful responses in our toolbox can be very empowering and relieve our sense of helplessness.  Is this something you think you need?

Using the information I found on this site turned my relationship with my daughter around and kept me stable enough to make wise choices regarding treatment for her.  I'm glad to know that you are seeing a therapist.  Did something happen 18 months ago that led you to seek out a therapist for yourself?

I hope to hear back from you soon!

lbjnltx

[BoxcarDaisy]

I just learned a week ago that my 40 year old daughter has BPD.  Today was my first post on this site and already I feel better.  My expectations have always been that her inexplicable behaviors were immaturity.  Little did I know.  The light didn't go off until I saw a therapist myself, who had me read "Stop Walking on Eggshells".

The best thing about this forum is that there is so much solid help here.  I've already recognized and plan to change my 'wrong' responses to her feelings of the moment.  My world is still upside down but I don't feel so overwhelmed or alone.

So sorry to hear about your daughter.  My heart goes out to you.  We will get through this and so will our daughters.