question ?

[Depression = 72% of members]

My xuBPDfaince always moves from one r/s straight to another though she swears up and down she has not done it in my case 

Anyway she always wants her xs to find someone else and be happy , never gets annoyed if they have moved on and AFAIK has never recycled an x

She keeps telling me how I will meet another girl and how she wants me to be happy etc

Now I get the guilt relieving part of this i. e if he moves on and is happy I don't have to feel shame or bad for my actions because it all worked out in the end

However where does the BPD fit in? I would have thought the last thing they want is one of their "Teddie's" being used by another and unavailable?

[dobie]

My xuBPDfaince always moves from one r/s straight to another though she swears up and down she has not done it in my case 

Anyway she always wants her xs to find someone else and be happy , never gets annoyed if they have moved on and AFAIK has never recycled an x

She keeps telling me how I will meet another girl and how she wants me to be happy etc

Now I get the guilt relieving part of this i. e if he moves on and is happy I don't have to feel shame or bad for my actions because it all worked out in the end

However where does the BPD fit in? I would have thought the last thing they want is one of their "Teddie's" being used by another and unavailable?

[valet]

I think that it is more about emotional availability in cases like this.

I know that my ex behaves similar to yours, and don't expect a recycle, but on the other side of the coin if she wants to have a one way friendship that suggests that feelings that she will never act on are returning, I want no part in her triangulating me with whichever guy she ends up with. I refuse to enable that kind of behavior.

I did it before with her prior to our relationship, and basically lost a best friend in the process, and I watched her do it to me with her best guy friend via constant Facebook and whatsapp communication. Being part of the triangle like that is not healthy, and it only leads at least two, if not all three parties into some kind of deep despair in the end.

It's great that she wants to you to be happy, but you have to watch out for yourself.

[enlighten me]

My ex wife said the same but according to her mum she wasnt happy when I met someone. They may not show it but more likely than not they dont like it.

[dobie]

I remember her xs adding her to FB when we were together and her keeping tabs on the x before me but she genuinely seemed happy he had met someone she was annoyed all his friends and family hated her though (I wonder why)  

I think she may be keeping tabs on my FB even though she has blocked me she seems to know I'm single .

She could be guessing of course but I told her a few months back I'd been dating and met a lovely girl (I had it didn't work out )

[Infared]

If your ex is any thing like mine she is a coward. (Part of the disorder, I guess).

They are not brave enough to tell you what they are actually feeling. It's sad.

I learned during the abandonment that I could actually believe about 0% of what my expwBPD was telling me. That's 0%.

Watch the actions and just do any and everything you can to take care of you. She is not looking out for anyone's best interest but her own... .

I know they are disordered, but mine was a predator, big time, dressed in beautiful sheep's clothing. I HAD to see it for what it truly was to save me.

My life stated to improve when I owned that truth.

[dobie]

If your ex is any thing like mine she is a coward. (Part of the disorder, I guess).

They are not brave enough to tell you what they are actually feeling. It's sad.

I learned during the abandonment that I could actually believe about 0% of what my expwBPD was telling me. That's 0%.

Watch the actions and just do any and everything you can to take care of you. She is not looking out for anyone's best interest but her own... .

I know they are disordered, but mine was a predator, big time, dressed in beautiful sheep's clothing. I HAD to see it for what it truly was to save me.

My life stated to improve when I owned that truth.

Funny mine admitted as much as well total coward like all bullies

[peacefulmind]

If your ex is any thing like mine she is a coward. (Part of the disorder, I guess).

They are not brave enough to tell you what they are actually feeling. It's sad.

I learned during the abandonment that I could actually believe about 0% of what my expwBPD was telling me. That's 0%.

Watch the actions and just do any and everything you can to take care of you. She is not looking out for anyone's best interest but her own... .

I know they are disordered, but mine was a predator, big time, dressed in beautiful sheep's clothing. I HAD to see it for what it truly was to save me.

My life stated to improve when I owned that truth.

This is spot on my ex-BPD... .I will start telling myself that my ex-SO is nothing but a predator in sheep's clothing. I like that. Thank you.