Getting myself worked up ~

[gomez_addams]

A theme in my life is worrying about things that haven't happened yet.

I have a hard time focusing on the next correct thing to do, and end up playing 3D chess in my head, unnecessarily.  I get riled up about a potential conflict/argument, when that conflict may or may not happen.  I can literally work through an entire potential episode in my head while in the shower, and run out of hot water.

This is a character defect of mine.  I do it about problems at work.  I do it for all sorts of stuff.  Sometimes I'm healthier, and do it less.  Sometimes I seem to spend WAY TOO MUCH TIME doing this... .and the marriage with the uBPDw is a huge trigger.

Anyone else with this issue?  I know it's common amongst my peeps in a 12-step group I belong to.  I'll be hitting them up for advice.

Gomez

[StarOfTheSea]

I do the same thing. It's a great 'skill' to have when I'm at work, but terrible outside of work. I read a quote once that  said, "don't borrow trouble". When I find myself doing the chess game of trouble in my head, I'll say that phrase quietly to myself.

[gomez_addams]

I read a quote once that  said, "don't borrow trouble". When I find myself doing the chess game of trouble in my head, I'll say that phrase quietly to myself.

Thanks!

I'm going to try that!

Gomez

[ADecadeLost]

Yep.  I'm an over thinker.  I have described it as a nonstop logic problem running in the background of my mind.  An endless string of if/then statements that has me playing a half dozen moves ahead of reality.  Professionally, it can be quite beneficial.  Personally/avocationally, it's generally just a headache.  Wish I knew how to shut it down from time to time.

[gomez_addams]

Wish I knew how to shut it down from time to time.

Great description.

Twice in my life I've been asked to write down a list of the things I have complete control over, and a list of the things I don't have complete control over.  On one side, it's only my thoughts and my actions.  On the other side it's everything else in life from traffic to other people to the weather to the stock market to whatever.  Actually writing down 200+ things that you don't have control over, and seeing on the other side of the page "My thoughts... .My actions" is helpful. 

Helps me to focus on controlling my thoughts, and focusing on my actions -- the next correct thing I should be doing.

Of course, knowing this, I still do the same thing as you -- play the chess game out on how I'll react to a situation I have no control over and don't have all the details about.

Gomez

ps -- it's an exercise from a 12-step group.  I guess this line of thinking is common amongst the folks who frequent the meetings I attend.

[Suzn]

I have a hard time focusing on the next correct thing to do, and end up playing 3D chess in my head, unnecessarily.  I get riled up about a potential conflict/argument, when that conflict may or may not happen.  I can literally work through an entire potential episode in my head while in the shower, and run out of hot water.

I've been guilty of this, allowing the negative voice in my head to convince me of all things that can go wrong. Yea, that girl in my head working all the buttons and strings, I fired her. 

She was given the job by my FOO originally. Things were just not working out between us because when I flat out told her she was lying to me, she didn't like it and doubled up on the negative possibilities. She had to go, I insisted.

I have a new voice in my head that is more understanding of my fears and tries to put a positive spin on possibilities (opposite action). And sometimes, she reminds me to redirect my thoughts to other things when I shouldn't be over-thinking situations that I either have no control over or things that haven't happened yet in the first place like you say. Things are working out much better, though always a work in progress.