feeling nervous

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Leaving in about an hour for the annual mothers day visit.  I really dislike Mothers day.   I have no children.   My late MIL was a more generally unpleasant person who if you had to label  was somewhat narcissistic.   Not to the level of being NPD.   More just NP.   

Mother is better or worse in episodes.  She's not as bad to me the last 20 years as I  now live 2 hours away. 

Now is one of her lows.  I really look forward to this day being over.  I only go for my sweet and beaten down Dad.  She is the martyr/hermit.  She tells me not to bother to go.   I KNOW that if  do not she will get in an even worse mood for days, hide it from and take it out on my Dad who is almost 80.

Usually I am OK going.  Today I have that rare feeling of dread that makes me want a  Xanax.  I have about 4 hours of driving here and back so I won't. 

To tell you how extreme it is for me to want Xanax,  a 10 pill prescription lasts me SEVERAL years.  I'm going to try an ibuprofen before I get on the road.

[todayistheday]

Leaving in about an hour for the annual mothers day visit.  I really dislike Mothers day.   I have no children.   My late MIL was a more generally unpleasant person who if you had to label  was somewhat narcissistic.   Not to the level of being NPD.   More just NP.   

Mother is better or worse in episodes.  She's not as bad to me the last 20 years as I  now live 2 hours away. 

Now is one of her lows.  I really look forward to this day being over.  I only go for my sweet and beaten down Dad.  She is the martyr/hermit.  She tells me not to bother to go.   I KNOW that if  do not she will get in an even worse mood for days, hide it from and take it out on my Dad who is almost 80.

Usually I am OK going.  Today I have that rare feeling of dread that makes me want a  Xanax.  I have about 4 hours of driving here and back so I won't. 

To tell you how extreme it is for me to want Xanax,  a 10 pill prescription lasts me SEVERAL years.  I'm going to try an ibuprofen before I get on the road.

[Kwamina]

Hi todayistheday

Take some deep breaths! Mother's Day is difficult for many of us, I have an uBPD mom too and can relate to your current anxiety. How have you dealt with Mother's Day in the past? Were there things or strategies you found were particularly helpful in dealing with your mother, particularly when she was in a bad mood like she's in now? How were you able to get through this day in previous years?

Take care

[todayistheday]

It all turned out ok.  I realized later that part of my jitteriness that day was due to having had two cups of regular coffee.  Since I usually do decaf, it hits me pretty hard. 

Mom is a challenge lately, being the martyr.  She had surgery to repair a torn meniscus a few weeks ago.  According to what the Dr. says, her recovery is on schedule.  She won't take her pain pills.

She keeps telling everyone my Dad won't help her which is a lie.  He tries to help her and she yells at him and/or tells him that she does not need or want anything.

[Turkish]

My mom isn't like that (she's a registered nurse, she accepts her plethora of pills), but my Ex wouldn't even take aspirin or tylenol when she got headaches, preferring to suffer, I guess. The marytr behavior is something we cant fix, and enabling it (trying to offer the obvious solution) results is frustration.