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BPDFamily.com
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
was your ex jealous of attention from others
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Topic: was your ex jealous of attention from others (Read 399 times)
confusedinWI
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 153
was your ex jealous of attention from others
«
on:
May 17, 2015, 03:58:20 PM »
What I mean by the title is I have two children age 11 and 8 that lived with us three nights a week when I was with ex gf. At first when I was dating ex had her own place (she's childless) and I had mine. 18months in we move in together. Within the the first week their were clues it might be a problem for her. She said she didnt have her own space. Mind you she said she looked forward to living with kids snd I so she could be involved in the daily aspects of the kids.
It seemed like I could never give her enough"us" time. She hung out wkth kids and I and I tried to have us do more family things but it was almost as if she was a child herself and jealous of thr attention.
She also tried to get involved with how I raised my kids and spent money on them. I didnt spoil them but once in a while id buy them something here and there. My ex gf grew up where there was four kids and her parents divorced when she was a teenager. Money was always tight wkth her parents. I grew up middle class only twl kids.
She would harp in me saying things like I guess this style of clothes aren't good enough or she would bring up what my ex wife bought for my kids. It was almost as if her inner child was sayjng I didnt get that why should they.
Eventually it got to a point where she was essentially making me choose between ber and them. I really dislike her for doing that.
Anyone else experience this?
Its tough because its been three months and my daughter still misses her. She never gsve my kids closure and said goodbye
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Mel1968
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 90
Re: was your ex jealous of attention from others
«
Reply #1 on:
May 17, 2015, 04:22:11 PM »
My daughter's 17 and in school still and lives with me, of course. My ex left home when she was 16 and regularly went on about how I mollycoddled my daughter. Since just before she was 16 I'd stay at exes house all weekend so we could have Us time, even though I felt uncomfortable. She doesnt live far from us, and daughter said she was happy about it but even so, I didn't feel it was right, but did it. And now for the past year she's been at me to stay at hers during the week too, and can't understand that actually I want to spend time with my daughter. I took d away for a weekend, and a year later, ex was still going on about what a betrayal it was of her, how she would never be part of our family... .
It is hard for the kids. My d's older than yours and so is actually glad now to have a bit of peace, and resentful about all the times she's seen her mum upset, but with yours being so much younger, it must be hard. Have you been able to explain to your children in a way you think is helpful, do you think?
Good luck
Ps on a lighter note, this has reminded me of a time we'd been away, the three of us, came back,and the cat was really pleased to see us, so I stroked her and ex got furious that I was giving the cat more attention than her. We'd spent 7 days entirely in each other's company for 24 hours a day, but then I dared stroke the cat... .Sigh.
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DyingLove
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 782
Re: was your ex jealous of attention from others
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Reply #2 on:
May 17, 2015, 04:30:29 PM »
The ex got very jealous of things while I was still 1400 miles aways from her.
When I moved in with her, it was almost like the opposite. She gave more attention to other things and not me! Of course when she got in bed, it was a different tune, but while her kids were around or her family (mother,brother etc), they got more attention (abnormally) than I did. Yes, it made me feel crappy and alone, especially that I dropped everything to move across the USA to be with her. Seeing all the Neg's about the R/S makes it much easier to move on, bit by bit. I still love her though. Think I'm gonna change my Signature... .I'm tired of writing I love her.
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