Journal after your breakup

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I've gotta get a journal going.  I've got stuff written in a bunch of places and notes here and there. Anyone have TIPS about beginning a journal and keeping it organized?  I know that it's not really a big deal, but starting off with good intent can make the process easier.  The relationship wasn't easy, maybe making a journal will help the pain fade.

[DyingLove]

I've gotta get a journal going.  I've got stuff written in a bunch of places and notes here and there. Anyone have TIPS about beginning a journal and keeping it organized?  I know that it's not really a big deal, but starting off with good intent can make the process easier.  The relationship wasn't easy, maybe making a journal will help the pain fade.

[Arcturus81]

I started a kind of journal after my BU. It was an old notebook that I used back in college to take math notes in. I kept writing in it for months after the BU. I believe that it is not important what you use to write stuff down on. It is the writing itself as a form of getting your feelings out. I haven't wrote in it for some time now but I probably will again soon. I plan that on the day I know I am truly over her I will burn the notebook as a symbol of letting everything go.

Some things are meant to be let go of so you can move on and be happy.

[myself]

One thing I did was send emails to myself (often instead of sending them to her). I didn't even reread them, it was mainly for the process of working through feelings and facing the facts. Each one was a healthy step toward detachment. When I found myself not writing anymore, I deleted them.

[DyingLove]

I started a kind of journal after my BU. It was an old notebook that I used back in college to take math notes in. I kept writing in it for months after the BU. I believe that it is not important what you use to write stuff down on. It is the writing itself as a form of getting your feelings out. I haven't wrote in it for some time now but I probably will again soon. I plan that on the day I know I am truly over her I will burn the notebook as a symbol of letting everything go.

Some things are meant to be let go of so you can move on and be happy.

I've been hearing that "BURN" the stuff comment for the longest time.  That I should write her a letter and burn it.  I don't know how it works, because I'm having a hard time getting to the burning of anything.  I feel that if I do, I'm letting go for good.  Maybe that is what I'm trying NOT TO DO.  Did I just tell myself something?  Maybe.  I've got notes in my computer, I've got files from my voice recorder of all of us.  Damn, it's frigtening, I don't think I will ever listen to them... .I'm afraid to do that.  I've got video of the ex and I nearly lost it watching one.  I'm losing it now thinking of it.

[UserName69]

The whole point is to move on and forget about her. Keeping a journal will only remind you of her so it will make things only harder and harder for YOU! Instead you should try to focus on your future and improve yourself.

[DyingLove]

The whole point is to move on and forget about her. Keeping a journal will only remind you of her so it will make things only harder and harder for YOU! Instead you should try to focus on your future and improve yourself.

I'm working on that.  But it's hard to do the right stuff when you don't always know what the right stuff is.  You sound a bit more mentally STRONG than I feel.  I get my strong moments, and sometimes I'm good for a while, then the weakness pays a visit.  If my business only had more "business" right now, I'd be going gung ho!   Thanks UserName69

[UserName69]

The whole point is to move on and forget about her. Keeping a journal will only remind you of her so it will make things only harder and harder for YOU! Instead you should try to focus on your future and improve yourself.

I'm working on that.  But it's hard to do the right stuff when you don't always know what the right stuff is.  You sound a bit more mentally STRONG than I feel.  I get my strong moments, and sometimes I'm good for a while, then the weakness pays a visit.  If my business only had more "business" right now, I'd be going gung ho!   Thanks UserName69

It's the way I think maybe. You know thinking about her means that she still has control over you, don't give her that because that is what she wants. Why should you even bother to have a relationship with someone who doesn't know the true meaning of friendship and love? She has betrayed you and played with your feelings, that's the reason why you need to move on, find a better partner and improve yourself. If she finds out about this she will melt from inside, BPD people are known for their jealousy. At the end it's a double win-win situation for you! Meanwhile she's still the same old loser as she always was. That's why you need to let go. There are so many women out there waiting for a man like you once you meet one you're going to realize that your exBPD is such an idiot.

My exBPD told me once something about one of her exes she had dumped. She invited him over her place he begged her to get back to her. She told me he went begging on his knees and crying, she told me that's the only thing she wanted to see, see him begging and crying on his knees. After that moment she kicked him out of her house. I knew she would like to do the same to me, I never forgot that even she said she loved me and all the other bs lies. I bet other exBPD's think the same, they just enjoy to hurt people and play with their feelings.

So why should I care about her? Even if she would die I wouldn't even care, I only have negative feelings for her, I really hate her. I'm over her but whenever I think about her I realize that I never have met such a big loser, I can't believe I used to hold her hand and sleep with her. I know it sounds hard but that's reality.

[Mutt]

Hi UserName69,

It's a humiliating thing your ex did to her ex partner. I can see now I would be scared that she would want to do the same to me. I agree there are a lot of partners out there and pitfalls too  

Hi DyingLove,

Do you feel like you're ready to move on? Some members do miss the 's when they are emotionally vulnerable. A life event like divorce comes to mind and sometimes people may meet a pwBPD that sweeps them off their feet. It's also good to really get to know someone first, you may pick-up on the person's push / pull behaviors and that will give you a clue.

[jhkbuzz]

The whole point is to move on and forget about her. Keeping a journal will only remind you of her so it will make things only harder and harder for YOU! Instead you should try to focus on your future and improve yourself.

I'm working on that.  But it's hard to do the right stuff when you don't always know what the right stuff is.  You sound a bit more mentally STRONG than I feel.  I get my strong moments, and sometimes I'm good for a while, then the weakness pays a visit.  If my business only had more "business" right now, I'd be going gung ho!   Thanks UserName69

I have to say, I find writing to be therapeutic - none of what I wrote went anywhere, but it all helped me process my confusion and grief. You can't "hurry" out of confusion, you can't "forget" about your grief. You have to process all of it, taking the time you need, until you are ready to move forward into the future.

(P.S.  I've journaled on my computer )

[once removed]

im a journaling enthusiast, have been literally half my life. when i journaled about my BPD relationship it was as if id never fully grasped the concept that putting thoughts to writing helps.

personally i value stream of consciousness over organization but thats me. i would simply start when a thought came over me and the urge to put it to paper came with it and i let it take me where itd take me. often times it was just writing what id otherwise be ruminating, but it helped, and it helped organize the ruminations themselves. beyond that, i just make sure to date them, maybe even write the time of day. make your journal yours. whatever you wish to do to get the most out of it.