It's an emotional game she's trying to play with you. Don't fall for it, my ex did the same and whenever we got back to each other within two weeks we had a fight and broke up. Block her number or take a new number. You're trying to recover from that nightmare, keeping semi contact will make things only harder for you. She knows that that's why she's texting you.
Don't feel guilty, it's just you can't have a healthy relationship with a BPD partner it's just a fact and everybody on this forum knows this. I got over mine very quickly because I decided to cut all the contact and end the relationship for good, I know I can get a better partner so why should I stick to my exBPD?
I feel close to if not fully detached, and my personal and professional life are as good as they have been since before my r/s with my BPDx began three years ago. It took a lot of effort to time to feel good again, but I am there.
No it's not if this was true you wouldn't feel guilty. You still have feelings for her that's why you decided to keep semi contact. In this case you should think about yourself and forget about her. She's your ex now and she can't be fixed. Me and my ex broke like 14 times before I decided to end it.
You didn't let her down, BPD partners are well known for their manipulative behavior, they will always lie to you, cheat on you. You simply can't trust them. She made you feel guilty, can't you see what she's trying to do?
For an example, two months before me and my ex broke up for good I started to dislike her a lot for her behavior. I was getting tired of all the bs drama and her games. I knew that the relationship would end soon. Once when we broke up for one month I met a girl at a local bar we talked and I had a great time with her, I didn't cheat on my gf but this girl asked for my phonenumber. Later I got back with my ex at this period my ex became very distant, she didn't want to see me and she said she needed space. I knew she was playing with my feelings so I started to hate her because I knew she was evil. This new girl helped me with some business related issues and I was talking a lot to her. My ex never responded on my messages. So for me this relation was pretty over. I told my ex that if she keeps acting like this I'm going to leave her forever. She said well if that's how it's going to be let it be so.
Later I went on a business trip this new girl knew about this and she told me if I could bring her a dress she really wanted. I got it for her when I got back she wanted to pay me I refused I told her Im giving this to you as a gift because you have helped me. Couple days later she wanted to have a dinner with me she still wanted to thank me. My ex found out and she said she's going to commit suicide. I was worried because she went NC for one day. I cancelled the dinner, next day my exBPD pretended like nothing happened. I realized that she was playing games again, she was playing with my feelings. Instead of feeling guilty I felt a lot of range, hate and anger towards her. I told her if you want to commit suicide just do it because I really don't care.
I went NC for a while and she contacted me via FB. For me the relationship was pretty over I told her that I'm single and I'm dating. I said that so she wouldn't bother me anymore. She tried to grab my attention by posting some lame stuff on my wall I ignored it later she removed it. She started to piss me off and she tried to flirt with guys on Facebook (again one of her games), since I never get jealous over things I really didn't care if she dated or slept with an another guy because I decided to move on. We ended the relationship one month ago but since two weeks ago I went totally NC. This relationship has ended and I'm waiting for the next one.
You see, they will ALWAYS play games! Don't feel guilty, whenever you do you should remember WHY she became your EX.
