i never knew about BPD before

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

My perfect partner had BPD and I dint have a clue about it, we dated for 8 years n got married, soon after marriage I got dumped for another lady. Hitting the rock bottom I got evidences which proved that there's something called as borderline personality disorder. Its makes me feel good to know that this is the reason that I got dumped but at the other end I feel awful with depression, anxiety, desperation to want him back n fear of facing this again in future. I need help. My partner calls me, refuses to have any affair at all but he only calls me to check on finances... .these conversations r full of tears n manipulations to get financial help. I love him n I hate myself for that. I am unable to get back on my feet, straighten my spine n walk away.

[indraniparui]

My perfect partner had BPD and I dint have a clue about it, we dated for 8 years n got married, soon after marriage I got dumped for another lady. Hitting the rock bottom I got evidences which proved that there's something called as borderline personality disorder. Its makes me feel good to know that this is the reason that I got dumped but at the other end I feel awful with depression, anxiety, desperation to want him back n fear of facing this again in future. I need help. My partner calls me, refuses to have any affair at all but he only calls me to check on finances... .these conversations r full of tears n manipulations to get financial help. I love him n I hate myself for that. I am unable to get back on my feet, straighten my spine n walk away.

[enlighten me]

I also was unaware of BPD. I only discovered it after looking into my exgf's behaviour. I then realised that my ex wife had it aswell.

I can totally understand your hurt and confusion. I have been there twice. Time is the greatest healer but there are a few things you can do to ease the pain. Going no contact helps. Distracting yourself also helps. Understanding that it is a dissorder and nothing you could have done would have made a difference as the dissorder is always there.

You are currently grieving and there are a number of phases of grief which you will go through. Theres more in depth info on yhe site about this. I also liken the end of a relationship as getting over an addictoon. This helped me detatch as being addicted to something is never good.

No matter how bad it seems it does get better. It may take a while but I assure you that one day you will look back and see it as a a bump in the road of your life rather than the mountain it appears to be at the moment.

EM