Mother won't sponsor me/ give money to charity.

[Our abuse recovery guide]

I am doing the live below the line challenge where you eat the diet of an impoverished person for one week and your friends and family sponsor you for charity. She said some really nasty cutting things about how it was a complete waste of time and I've been posting photos of my meals to involve my family and encourage donations. She thinks I am being 'vain and self absorbed' apparently it's ok to post photos showing off your holiday or your excercise routine but not to raise money for a good cause.

I already know she's not going to donate any money to my charity. I am not expecting anything from her, feel really let down she is delberatly withholding money for a good charity pretty much out of spite.

[zubizou87]

I am doing the live below the line challenge where you eat the diet of an impoverished person for one week and your friends and family sponsor you for charity. She said some really nasty cutting things about how it was a complete waste of time and I've been posting photos of my meals to involve my family and encourage donations. She thinks I am being 'vain and self absorbed' apparently it's ok to post photos showing off your holiday or your excercise routine but not to raise money for a good cause.

I already know she's not going to donate any money to my charity. I am not expecting anything from her, feel really let down she is delberatly withholding money for a good charity pretty much out of spite.

[Turkish]

It's hard when someone blatantly telegraphs that they have different core values than we do. The polite response is none, not belittlement or shaming. To paraphrase my T: "This is who she is, and I sense a lot of your anger stems from expecting her to be someone she is not."

Maybe she's triggered by seeing her daughter being different than her. If shaming has worked in the past, or if that's the only way she knows how to operate, then that's all her. What's all you is how you choose to react on the outside. Emotionally, your reaction is completely understandable.

[Panda39]

Hi Zubizou87   

I have not heard of the below the line challenge before but it sounds like a pretty cool thing you're doing.

Your mom is being very invalidating of something that is important and meaningful to you and I know feels hurtful and disappointing... .it just sucks! :'(.  :)on't let her rain on your parade.  Share what you are doing with others that support you.

Wishing you lots of success with the fund raising  

Panda39

[jdtm]

"This is who she is, and I sense a lot of your anger stems from expecting her to be someone she is not."

Powerful words - thank your T for me.