Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
June 28, 2025, 08:24:46 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Experts share their discoveries [video]
100
Caretaking - What is it all about?
Margalis Fjelstad, PhD
Blame - why we do it?
Brené Brown, PhD
Family dynamics matter.
Alan Fruzzetti, PhD
A perspective on BPD
Ivan Spielberg, PhD
Pages: [1]   Go Down
« previous next »
  Print  
Author Topic: Stbx uBPDw b-day next week  (Read 901 times)
gomez_addams
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Almost divorced
Posts: 284
« on: June 02, 2015, 04:27:45 PM »
So how do I handle the stbx uBPDw's birthday next week?

I was pretty much planning to ignore it, but that would be an enormous trigger.

I thought about some flowers, but that shows inconsistency.

I am past the point of trying to be reasonable. I only want to do what is efficient. I don't mind grabbing some flowers (heh... .Out the joint account, naturally). Would this be horrible in light of me trying to press the D-Train forward?

Seeing my L on Thursday to pay the retainer and get the ball rolling.

Seeing my T tmw to get a mental/emotional boost.

Thoughts?

Gomez
Logged
Mike-X
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: living apart
Posts: 669
« Reply #1 on: June 02, 2015, 04:38:45 PM »
Can you elaborate a little on your situation: are you still living together? kids? current contact? does she know you are seeing a lawyer? does she want the divorce?

Quote from: gomez_addams on June 02, 2015, 04:27:45 PM
So how do I handle the stbx uBPDw's birthday next week?

I was pretty much planning to ignore it, but that would be an enormous trigger.

I thought about some flowers, but that shows inconsistency.

I am past the point of trying to be reasonable. I only want to do what is efficient. I don't mind grabbing some flowers (heh... .Out the joint account, naturally). Would this be horrible in light of me trying to press the D-Train forward?

Seeing my L on Thursday to pay the retainer and get the ball rolling.

Seeing my T tmw to get a mental/emotional boost.

Thoughts?

Gomez
Logged
GaGrl
Ambassador
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 5786
« Reply #2 on: June 02, 2015, 06:34:41 PM »
What about something rather innocuous, like a non-sentimental card with a gift card inside?  Definitely no flowers, no dinner out, no celebration.
Logged

"...what's past is prologue; what to come,
In yours and my discharge."
gomez_addams
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Almost divorced
Posts: 284
« Reply #3 on: June 02, 2015, 07:03:27 PM »
No kids. She knows I want a divorce. She claims to be packing her stuff to head to her home state. I'm in a rented room temporarily.

Non-descript card seems doable. I agree -- no flowers, dinner, etc... .

I'll ask my T tomorrow as well.

Gomez
Logged
Panda39
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Relationship status: SO and I have been together 9 years and have just moved in together this summer.
Posts: 3462
« Reply #4 on: June 02, 2015, 09:08:05 PM »
Why do you feel obligated to get her anything? 
Logged
"Have you ever looked fear in the face and just said, I just don't care" -Pink
gomez_addams
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Almost divorced
Posts: 284
« Reply #5 on: June 02, 2015, 09:26:06 PM »
Quote from: Panda39 on June 02, 2015, 09:08:05 PM
Why do you feel obligated to get her anything? 

F.O.G.

I embody it.

Gomez
Logged
Panda39
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Relationship status: SO and I have been together 9 years and have just moved in together this summer.
Posts: 3462
« Reply #6 on: June 02, 2015, 09:32:12 PM »
Quote from: gomez_addams on June 02, 2015, 09:26:06 PM
Quote from: Panda39 on June 02, 2015, 09:08:05 PM
Why do you feel obligated to get her anything? 

F.O.G.

I embody it.

Gomez

Smiling (click to insert in post) Laugh out loud (click to insert in post) Yep, there you go  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)
Logged
"Have you ever looked fear in the face and just said, I just don't care" -Pink
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
BPDFamily.com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship > Topic: Stbx uBPDw b-day next week
 « previous next »
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife


Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!