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VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?" Parental alienation is when a parent allows a child to participate or hear them degrade the other parent. This is not uncommon in divorces and the children often adjust. In severe cases, however, it can be devastating to the child. This video provides a helpful overview.
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Author Topic: Stbx uBPDw b-day next week  (Read 654 times)
gomez_addams
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Almost divorced
Posts: 284
« on: June 02, 2015, 04:27:45 PM »
So how do I handle the stbx uBPDw's birthday next week?

I was pretty much planning to ignore it, but that would be an enormous trigger.

I thought about some flowers, but that shows inconsistency.

I am past the point of trying to be reasonable. I only want to do what is efficient. I don't mind grabbing some flowers (heh... .Out the joint account, naturally). Would this be horrible in light of me trying to press the D-Train forward?

Seeing my L on Thursday to pay the retainer and get the ball rolling.

Seeing my T tmw to get a mental/emotional boost.

Thoughts?

Gomez
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Mike-X
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: living apart
Posts: 669
« Reply #1 on: June 02, 2015, 04:38:45 PM »
Can you elaborate a little on your situation: are you still living together? kids? current contact? does she know you are seeing a lawyer? does she want the divorce?

Quote from: gomez_addams on June 02, 2015, 04:27:45 PM
So how do I handle the stbx uBPDw's birthday next week?

I was pretty much planning to ignore it, but that would be an enormous trigger.

I thought about some flowers, but that shows inconsistency.

I am past the point of trying to be reasonable. I only want to do what is efficient. I don't mind grabbing some flowers (heh... .Out the joint account, naturally). Would this be horrible in light of me trying to press the D-Train forward?

Seeing my L on Thursday to pay the retainer and get the ball rolling.

Seeing my T tmw to get a mental/emotional boost.

Thoughts?

Gomez
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GaGrl
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 5766
« Reply #2 on: June 02, 2015, 06:34:41 PM »
What about something rather innocuous, like a non-sentimental card with a gift card inside?  Definitely no flowers, no dinner out, no celebration.
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"...what's past is prologue; what to come,
In yours and my discharge."
gomez_addams
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Almost divorced
Posts: 284
« Reply #3 on: June 02, 2015, 07:03:27 PM »
No kids. She knows I want a divorce. She claims to be packing her stuff to head to her home state. I'm in a rented room temporarily.

Non-descript card seems doable. I agree -- no flowers, dinner, etc... .

I'll ask my T tomorrow as well.

Gomez
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Panda39
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Relationship status: SO and I have been together 9 years and have just moved in together this summer.
Posts: 3462
« Reply #4 on: June 02, 2015, 09:08:05 PM »
Why do you feel obligated to get her anything? 
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"Have you ever looked fear in the face and just said, I just don't care" -Pink
gomez_addams
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Almost divorced
Posts: 284
« Reply #5 on: June 02, 2015, 09:26:06 PM »
Quote from: Panda39 on June 02, 2015, 09:08:05 PM
Why do you feel obligated to get her anything? 

F.O.G.

I embody it.

Gomez
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Panda39
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Relationship status: SO and I have been together 9 years and have just moved in together this summer.
Posts: 3462
« Reply #6 on: June 02, 2015, 09:32:12 PM »
Quote from: gomez_addams on June 02, 2015, 09:26:06 PM
Quote from: Panda39 on June 02, 2015, 09:08:05 PM
Why do you feel obligated to get her anything? 

F.O.G.

I embody it.

Gomez

Smiling (click to insert in post) Laugh out loud (click to insert in post) Yep, there you go  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)
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"Have you ever looked fear in the face and just said, I just don't care" -Pink
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