Spouse is alienating me and my son from my sister and my mom

[Depression = 72% of members]

My sister and my mom aren't the most responsible people in the world. My mom doesn't work and my sister lost her job as well, now they live together again. My sister is looking for a new job. My mom has has BPD1 for most of my life and my sisters. My mom has had money spending problems, drug problems and emotionally abusive problems. My sister practically raised me when i was growing up, she is 10 years older than me, and declared gay which i support fully. My sister has always been there for me, my relationship with my mom has been on the rocks for years but when i legitimately need her she pulls through for me. They both have made drastic changes in their lifestyles since the birth of my son, my mom has fallen off the wagon a few times but after threatening to remove myself and my son from her life a few years ago she has complied with my rules about my son and myself. they are no where near perfect now, their lives are on the fritz but they are devoted to my son regardless. My boyfriend and my sister got into a relationship ending (between the 2 of them) fight after she was living with us (he kicked her out of the house which is why she lives with our mom now) to help care for my son for we both worked night shift. Granted she did stop holding up to her end of a few things but it shouldn't have ended the way it did and they both said things that shouldn't have been said.

Now my spouse saying they aren't good enough role models to be around my son and he hates the fact my sister is gay around my son and has a girlfriend. We had previously agreed a few of the things the do when my son is over there isn't a good example for our son, like smoking in the bathroom and not making him eat healthy foods, and letting him snack all day on junk. he also comes back acting like a brat for a few days after, but overall they love him and would do anything for him. so my bf reminded me to talk to them about those specifics and i did, but during text he automatically thought i was annoyed with him bringing up the topic bc i didn't have much to say about it bc we had previously discussed it and we agreed upon those things. that started a HUGE fight between my bf and i. he started bashing my family and said his family was better, said they are terrible role models bc they don't have their lives together. He then states its my fault we are arguing and why hes acting the way he is. I return the "bit*hyness" bc i don't see i nor they have done wrong by him except the things i had addressed that day and they agreed and said they would comply but he continues to argue and will not see my side of things and i feel like he is going to alienate me from them. I try to tell him my side of things but he refuses to open up to what i have to say he is stuck on his opinions and beliefs. i often feel like he sets expectations that are unattainable, he trys to change people to fit his expectations, including myself, instead of opening up to see my side. yes sometimes i have a problem with this as well but 99 out of 100 times i always back down from my stance and go to his side but i cant get the same or even a middle agreement unless its and i quote "we just need to agree to disagree". Myself and my family hasn't had the easiest lives, i know everyone walks paths but he himself has never had to struggle and especially like we have. and i know thats no excuse on their behalf but it is what it is, they HAVE changed alot to be in my sons life. I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried to diffuse the situation but also try to stand my ground and meet in the middle but its not good enough for him. everytime we argue or i have something to say that doesn't fit his opinion completely he always jumps to "you always choose everyone else over me". If my son was in danger or i thought they were doing anything to affect his health i would step in and correct the situation. but he believes with my moms past and both of them not having their lives together they are bad people to have in my sons life. He even called me a bad parent for letting him go over there and trusting them to care for my son. i don't know what to do with all of this.   

[hopeless91]

My sister and my mom aren't the most responsible people in the world. My mom doesn't work and my sister lost her job as well, now they live together again. My sister is looking for a new job. My mom has has BPD1 for most of my life and my sisters. My mom has had money spending problems, drug problems and emotionally abusive problems. My sister practically raised me when i was growing up, she is 10 years older than me, and declared gay which i support fully. My sister has always been there for me, my relationship with my mom has been on the rocks for years but when i legitimately need her she pulls through for me. They both have made drastic changes in their lifestyles since the birth of my son, my mom has fallen off the wagon a few times but after threatening to remove myself and my son from her life a few years ago she has complied with my rules about my son and myself. they are no where near perfect now, their lives are on the fritz but they are devoted to my son regardless. My boyfriend and my sister got into a relationship ending (between the 2 of them) fight after she was living with us (he kicked her out of the house which is why she lives with our mom now) to help care for my son for we both worked night shift. Granted she did stop holding up to her end of a few things but it shouldn't have ended the way it did and they both said things that shouldn't have been said.

Now my spouse saying they aren't good enough role models to be around my son and he hates the fact my sister is gay around my son and has a girlfriend. We had previously agreed a few of the things the do when my son is over there isn't a good example for our son, like smoking in the bathroom and not making him eat healthy foods, and letting him snack all day on junk. he also comes back acting like a brat for a few days after, but overall they love him and would do anything for him. so my bf reminded me to talk to them about those specifics and i did, but during text he automatically thought i was annoyed with him bringing up the topic bc i didn't have much to say about it bc we had previously discussed it and we agreed upon those things. that started a HUGE fight between my bf and i. he started bashing my family and said his family was better, said they are terrible role models bc they don't have their lives together. He then states its my fault we are arguing and why hes acting the way he is. I return the "bit*hyness" bc i don't see i nor they have done wrong by him except the things i had addressed that day and they agreed and said they would comply but he continues to argue and will not see my side of things and i feel like he is going to alienate me from them. I try to tell him my side of things but he refuses to open up to what i have to say he is stuck on his opinions and beliefs. i often feel like he sets expectations that are unattainable, he trys to change people to fit his expectations, including myself, instead of opening up to see my side. yes sometimes i have a problem with this as well but 99 out of 100 times i always back down from my stance and go to his side but i cant get the same or even a middle agreement unless its and i quote "we just need to agree to disagree". Myself and my family hasn't had the easiest lives, i know everyone walks paths but he himself has never had to struggle and especially like we have. and i know thats no excuse on their behalf but it is what it is, they HAVE changed alot to be in my sons life. I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried to diffuse the situation but also try to stand my ground and meet in the middle but its not good enough for him. everytime we argue or i have something to say that doesn't fit his opinion completely he always jumps to "you always choose everyone else over me". If my son was in danger or i thought they were doing anything to affect his health i would step in and correct the situation. but he believes with my moms past and both of them not having their lives together they are bad people to have in my sons life. He even called me a bad parent for letting him go over there and trusting them to care for my son. i don't know what to do with all of this.   

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