Is he finally going to get psychological help?

[SweetCharlotte]

My uBPDh has not attended counseling since he was of college age. He remembers his counseling very negatively and accuses his therapist of stealing ideas of his and publishing them.

So he distrusts all psych professionals for himself. He has at times insisted that I be in therapy, and other times wants me to quit. He frequently sees all kinds of doctors for ailments that range from the real to the suspicious.

Now he has made an appointment to see a neurologist because of headaches and dizziness. He said an MRI revealed dots in his brain, but they are not tumors.

Does this sound BPD-related? Is it likely he might get a psych diagnosis such as BPD from this (he has the requisite number of symptoms but has never asked for a dx)? How can I support him through whatever is going on with his brain as well as his mind?

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[waverider]

My uBPDh has not attended counseling since he was of college age. He remembers his counseling very negatively and accuses his therapist of stealing ideas of his and publishing them.

So he distrusts all psych professionals for himself. He has at times insisted that I be in therapy, and other times wants me to quit. He frequently sees all kinds of doctors for ailments that range from the real to the suspicious.

Now he has made an appointment to see a neurologist because of headaches and dizziness. He said an MRI revealed dots in his brain, but they are not tumors.

Does this sound BPD-related? Is it likely he might get a psych diagnosis such as BPD from this (he has the requisite number of symptoms but has never asked for a dx)? How can I support him through whatever is going on with his brain as well as his mind?

Very common, a diagnosis of any psych disorders will only com from a psych experienced in them, and will only be of any worth if he is open to it.

My partner has a major medical ailment at least twice a week, and minor ones everyday.

All you can do is listen and reassure, getting too involved can actually feed the behavior, without any real results

[misuniadziubek]

I knew my pwBPD was borderline 5 months into the relationship. He only just recently got the diagnosis because his intense emotional deregulation is causing him more pain than ever now. He's managing to keep his head above water, he's got this somewhat satisfying relationship going on ( treating me like a prized possession almost) and yet he is constantly experiencing more and more apathy?

I couldn't tell him that hey, this might be a symptom of -this- except during ridiculously calm and deep conversations and even that wasn't very effective because we only have those when he's not really dysregulating or having such a hard time. He asked me why I hadn't said anything after he found out. I told him. You wouldn't have believed me and you needed to be the one to seek it out when you were ready to accept it.

He's not stupid. Just hoping he is actually doing dbt. We're on a NC break for now. I was too much for him in addition to everything else so he took the most extreme measure possible.

[Sunfl0wer]

Not that you can tell him this... .

But people don't have "dots" in their brain.

However, people can have plaques, tangles, tumors, lesions... .etc.

What is the neurologist recommending?  Any follow up tests?  Any treatment?

Or feel free to ignore if this is not the point of your post at all and you really feel it is completely a case of hypochondria with no merrit.

[Loosestrife]

I've been on the neurology and various medical journeys with my pwBPD and it has always come to nothing. I can relate to the mistrust of therapy also as that is something my pwBPD regularly blames. I think you have to let your partner  exhaust every avenue and if it ends up coming back to BPD then it's for him to come to terms with in his own time. The process is exhausting and the end result is likely to be not that dissimilar from the situation you are in now. He will get lots of help. What are you getting?

[SweetCharlotte]

Not that you can tell him this... .

But people don't have "dots" in their brain.

However, people can have plaques, tangles, tumors, lesions... .etc.

What is the neurologist recommending?  Any follow up tests?  Any treatment?

Or feel free to ignore if this is not the point of your post at all and you really feel it is completely a case of hypochondria with no merit.

Sunflower, I am hoping that it is hypochondria with no merit, because brain stuff can be serious.

However, it may be actual migraine, which is real though it can be stress-induced.

He has many ailments that are real but were caused by BPD behaviors, such as diverticulitis from binge-eating.

His neurology appointment is next month, so maybe then we will be able to "connect the dots" to their cause or significance.

[SweetCharlotte]

I've been on the neurology and various medical journeys with my pwBPD and it has always come to nothing. I can relate to the mistrust of therapy also as that is something my pwBPD regularly blames. I think you have to let your partner  exhaust every avenue and if it ends up coming back to BPD then it's for him to come to terms with in his own time. The process is exhausting and the end result is likely to be not that dissimilar from the situation you are in now. He will get lots of help. What are you getting?

Luckily, it's not exhausting for me because he doesn't allow me to accompany him on his medical journeys.

The last time I went to a doctor's appointment with him, he ordered me out of the examination room because he said I was not taking it seriously enough (I had cracked a mild joke to lighten the mood).

Also, we live six hours apart so most of the time his medical visits hit when I am not there.

I see a therapist about once a month to help me deal with him and other aspects of my life (I also feel that my deceased Mom was uBPD).

My own diagnosis is Adjustment Disorder.