Not sure how to act?

[going places]

3-4 days ago, my EX Father in Law died.

My ex, told our son, because the boy was at ex's apt working on a project.

Our oldest (24) and youngest (21) found out, via facebook.

The ex, didn't even pick up the phone to tell his kids... .much less, me.

No, none of us would go to the funeral (multiple states away and no thanks on the family drama).

It does 'hurt' a little bit, that he couldn't even send me an email w/ the obituary.

He was my FIL for 25 years... .

I think it's super crappy and total BS that ex didn't pick up the phone and tell the kids; that they had to find out on facebook... .I'm not surprised one bit, but it makes it no less crappy.

[Mutt]

I'm sorry to hear that. I can't believe that! What an awful way to find out. I think it displays lack of empathy. How are you and the kids coping?

[going places]

We did not have a 'normal' relationship.

Grandpa was a very selfish man, did not invest at all in the kids... .only saw him 2-3 times a year and in the last 5 years have only seen him 1 or 2 times.

They were not close, at all.

Grandpa did not send me a x-mas card this year (and that really hurt, but it's not surprising) and sent the kids their cards, thru their dad, who gave both of the girls cards, to the boy to give to them.

So suffice it to say there was no real relationship... .

He's family, and he's dead... .he's been ill for 3 years now (life time use of BP meds wore his heart out).

So they think it sucks he's dead, but not the tears, emotional upheaval that 'normal deaths' bring... .

Me?

I think it really sucks that me and the girls had to find out via facebook... .but... .as unfortunate as it was, if there was any doubts in  their minds that 'maybe this might have been mom's fault' (the divorce etc) this along with many other examples, clears that notion up.

I am not surprised I had to find out this way... .but I think it's crappy for the kids.

I will be over it in a couple days.