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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: Not understanding current behavior of BPD ex.  (Read 514 times)
Lostinwonderland70
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 53


« on: June 11, 2015, 02:30:29 PM »

Ok after almost two months of no contact. And after all the horrific things my BPD ex, whom I still love, did. Out of blue she began non direct contact that lead to direct contact. Two weeks ago she made a fake Instagram account and liked an old picture on mine to let me know it was her. This went on for about a week, then she messaged me. Said she had called the courts and wanted to drop the PPo but had to wait till court on the 25th to do it. Which is true, I checked I to it. I'd thought I'd been painted black when she move out as the amount of anger and bad things she did. She said that since a week after moving out she'd been reading my fb ad Instagram daily. Which is true because I'd post and erase something's she mentioned an hour or so after I posted it. She claimed she hadn't moved back in with her ex as I thought. But I was still Leary of that statement. I could tell at times she wasn't doing well as I know how she talks when she isn't. We were together almost 3 years. Well on tue. We were having a good conversation. She was laughing. And then no message for an hour. Then the next I got was "leave my wife the f*** alone" which i assumed was from her seperated husband she supposedly didn't live with. Since then not a peep from her. Now the confusion sets back in. What do I take from this?
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Aussie0zborn
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 803



« Reply #1 on: June 14, 2015, 08:05:23 AM »

From this you can take that you failed to protect yourself by blocking her wherever possible. Your FB account might best be set to "friends only".

You might also take from this that she used you to get even with the current guy and that you haven't moved on. If you wish to "understand her" and why she did what she did to you, try reading every posit on this forum - It helped me to understand BPD. And in turn to understand her.

Time to move on my friend... .forget and block. And after you've done that... .block and forget. Not necessarily in that order.
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pallavirajsinghani
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Sibling
Relationship status: Married TDH-with high cheekbones that can cut butter.
Posts: 2497


« Reply #2 on: June 14, 2015, 09:18:16 AM »

It means that you are being triangulated.  She is maintaining her husband's complete attention on herself by telling him how she is so desirable that you cannot leave her alone.

You are dealing with mental disorder.  If there were rational logic to this behavior it would be a disorder would it?
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Humanity is a stream my friend, and each of us individual drops.  How can you then distinguish one from the other?
Lostinwonderland70
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 53


« Reply #3 on: June 14, 2015, 03:47:35 PM »

The triangulation makes sense. It now seems like some kind of game to her. I don't know what was ever the truth or lies now. She started back messaging me Friday. And yes I did it. We talked all weekend. Then last night she got drunk ad rages on me and almost like broke up with me again. And we're not even dating. She spoke cruel and gave me the "done!" Now she's quiet again. I don't get why for 3 years almost none of these behaviors. Then now blam.
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