Do they ever face any consequences? Feeling a tad bitter today...

[Beach_Babe]

I bet eventually things catch up to them, whether it is professional or personal or something else.

What goes around comes around. What makes you think he sees no consequence, lipstick?  If he's stalking you, things couldn't be going THAT good could they?  

[Tomzxz]

lipstick,  They appear on the outside to move on while we initially languish in pain, loss, guilt and remorse. Out of site, out of mind would be a good description.  I know for a fact though that each time they screw up a relationship, a little bit more of them dies on the inside.  My ex is living her new and exciting life on facebook with her single girl's meet up group.  O the time they are having with their new friend that now goes by the nick name Wildwoman.  The funny thing is that I know what she looks like when she was happy and she looks like a complete wreck to me in the photos now.  Look very closely at their photos, the devil is in the details.  In more than a few photos, her complexion is terrible, her new experimental hair style is comical compared to her old regal style and her eyes look dead and lifeless, reminiscent of the thousand yard stare of PTSD. She may not appear to face consequences but I think she does everyday with a shattered self esteem, unsure future and the knowledge that she will never have a close relationship with anyone.  Knowing her history and propensity to overshoot her popularity and return to her waif tendency, this too will pass as her new friends will learn to dislike her and her new boy toy savior will too just like me and the ones before I met her.  She's forty, more distant, stubborn and selfish than ever, loosing her looks fast and picking up were she left off with grad school to be a librarian - running up her student loans past 60k and living the apartment life on credit cards now.  I'm sure she will find another lucky man or woman to "charm" and get herself out of her predicament by shacking up, only they too will drop her on her head when they realize their mistake. Consequences? Na, its a great feeling knowing your tired, broken, broke and unlovable.  Sarc. 

lipstick, bitter is okay, its part of our process to disconnect from this toxic relationship.  Feel it for now and you will eventually move away from this unproductive feeling towards a healthier indifference and acceptance.

[lipstick]

More great responses! Thank you, everyone!  

It seems most are in agreement that my ex "fronts" on Facebook. I dunno. I think he really does love the life he has. I guess at this point - time will have to be my "payback" on him, if you will.  His spouse is eleven years older than him. This (in my mind) will definitely become a factor in the very near future. She is about to turn 64 (and is a heavy drinker). The ex is 52. Tick, tock, tick, tock.   I shouldn't think this way - but right now it's where I'm at. It was very hard to accept that an abusive drunk was a better choice than me. But I finally have.

Maybe he is putting up a false front. Probably so. I'll never know for sure. My mom thinks he'll come around again someday. I doubt it. If he does - I hope I don't even remember who he is by then!  

[enlighten me]

It may seem he loves his new life but I bet he also hates it. I once said to my ex that"I know she misses being fun time xxxxx". She said I obviously dont know her if thats what I think.

I realise that she wanted botboth. She wanted the happy family life and the wild fun life. This is part of the devaluation in my opinion. The fact that the wild side cant be pleased by being in a relationship.

[Mr Hollande]

Lipstick, I think your mother is right and when that day comes it will be important that you are strong enough to resist him.

Also, that woman he's with is in hell. You are out of it. While you are still burnt from your experience you are in a safe place where you can recover now. You are far, far ahead of her and with that in mind you aren't doing badly at all. Keep going.

[lipstick]

It may seem he loves his new life but I bet he also hates it. I once said to my ex that"I know she misses being fun time xxxxx". She said I obviously dont know her if thats what I think.

I realise that she wanted botboth. She wanted the happy family life and the wild fun life. This is part of the devaluation in my opinion. The fact that the wild side cant be pleased by being in a relationship.

Hi enlightenme!

Thank you for your thoughts on my issue. My ex doesn't have a "new" life. He was supposed to have begun that with me. Instead - he ran back to the "safety" of his dysfunctional marriage. They celebrated their 26th anniversary this past December. Both are (I suspect) BPD. This is the life he claims to love.

My ex wanted both at first as well. I said no way. We were both to have divorced our respective spouses. I followed through. He did not. I think my ex believed that if I had stayed in the home we had together - eventually I would have forgiven him. Then he could carry on a double life. Playing the role of devoted family man - yet having his "trophy" on the side. Absolutely not. I moved back to my hometown and started over from scratch.

I do think I've struck a chord with him, however. I have heard thru mutual friends that he's pi$$ed about "something". He never shows weakness in front of others - or shares his true thoughts - but if I were to guess - he's chapped because I cut off his FB "spying" on me. Tough. And Yay Me !  

[lipstick]

Lipstick, I think your mother is right and when that day comes it will be important that you are strong enough to resist him.

Also, that woman he's with is in hell. You are out of it. While you are still burnt from your experience you are in a safe place where you can recover now. You are far, far ahead of her and with that in mind you aren't doing badly at all. Keep going.

Hi Mr Hollande,

My mom is pretty intuitive. And most mental health professionals that I've spoken to echo her opinion. They've told me that since the ex and I have such a long history (dated in high school and beyond) - he views me as "his". And that when he has a need or enough time has passed (in his mind), he'll circle back around. Personally, I don't think so.

His spouse IS hell. She has broken his nose, plowed into his vehicle with her own, had them banned from restaurants, acted out at his workplace (threw a glass at him). She had a history of domestic violence before they even got involved. Been together now (except for me) for 26 years. So they obviously like their chaotic "relationship". No sex, though. That dried up years ago. Serves him right!

Like I stated in a previous post - I do believe time will be my only "payback". She is 64 and is a heavy drinker. Signs of osteoporosis (her back). Other things as well. His mother's health is failing. She's in her seventies, heavy drinker, smokes. Both of her siblings died fairly young. She probably won't be around much longer. And when that happens - my ex will go off the rails. She is his biggest enabler. With the spouse coming in second. He will be lost.

And yes - I intend to keep going. Thank you!  

[lipstick]

Just wanted to share some news. My aunt sent me a text this morning. She lives in the same general area as my ex. Also - I introduced the ex to both my aunt and uncle when we were together. We spent a weekend with them.

So my aunt ran into the ex this past weekend. She was out shopping and saw him coming towards her. She didn't acknowledge him - but stared right at him the entire time. She said he didn't look at her or act as if he recognized her. I bet he did BOTH and was pretending. 

Auntie said he looked like he was a hundred years old. Decrepit (sp?) and broken down. Hair all unkempt and pulled back in a ponytail (not new for him!) - kind of shuffling along. Said he is "not a handsome man". "Niece - you are miles above him in every way". 

This made me feel both good and bad at the same time. Like I said - time is going to be my only form of "payback". And it doesn't make me happy.     

[going places]

From your description; it sounds like you are 100% better off without him... .

Focus more on your and less on him... .and this is an amazing learning experience when it comes time to move forward; at least now you know what NOT to do! 

That's what gets me thru the day sometimes!

[enlighten me]

Time isnt your only payback. You have probably caused him more anguish than you realise.  By going nc you have rejected him. He is now worthless. He has had to look at himself to figure out why you wouldnt want him and im sure he didnt like what he saw. No matter how much denial he applies and tries to blame it all on you he will always have that part of him that blames himself.

If he looks a mess then he is obviously having a bad time.

[lipstick]

Time isnt your only payback. You have probably caused him more anguish than you realise.  By going nc you have rejected him. He is now worthless. He has had to look at himself to figure out why you wouldnt want him and im sure he didnt like what he saw. No matter how much denial he applies and tries to blame it all on you he will always have that part of him that blames himself.

If he looks a mess then he is obviously having a bad time.

enlighten me,

Perhaps he has experienced anguish. I'll never know. Neither will anyone else. He is soo damn good at hiding whatever he's feeling (except childish anger!).  The only time I ever saw true hurt on his face was when he was leaving me. I was so angry at what he was doing that I shouted "This is just great. You f*cked me! I am f*cked!" - the look on his face was heartbreaking. Those words cut him to the core. But that was the only time.

I hope that he IS having a bad time. I think there is a lot going on (not good) in his world. Too bad. It didn't have to be this way. He made a choice. Now I am on his ever-growing list of "people I hurt and can no longer face". His world is shrinking. Good. Maybe he'll stop hurting those that care about him. The few that are left, anyway.

[Infared]

Time isnt your only payback. You have probably caused him more anguish than you realise.  By going nc you have rejected him. He is now worthless. He has had to look at himself to figure out why you wouldnt want him and im sure he didnt like what he saw. No matter how much denial he applies and tries to blame it all on you he will always have that part of him that blames himself.

If he looks a mess then he is obviously having a bad time.

I experienced this, too... .It's so twisted. My ran off with the replacement 2 weeks before Christmas.  Left me in our home bewildered, packing her belongings, feeding her cats and putting up a Christmas Tree by myself... .not knowing of the other person... .foolishly thinking that I could "work things out"... .She is living with him and saying she met him after she left me... .LOL!... anyway... .  I get drive-byes and 'accidental' run-ins etc... .etc... .etc... .and finally I sent her a voice mail telling her to stay out of her life... .  SHE LEFT ME FOR ANOTHER GUY... .and somehow "now" she is the victim (like... "I" ended the relationship    )... because I will have nothing to do with her because of all of the lies and abuse?  These situations are soo... .soo... .sick it is mind-blowing.  All we can do... is see the reality of what is going down (even if our best friend does not), and make clear choices that help and protect us. Sometimes we think we are crazy and have it wrong... .but we do not have it wrong.  We are just interacting with very unhealthy people and their crazy-making makes us crazy sometimes for a moment.   God help all of us.

Anything else is a

[lipstick]

Hi Infared,

Yes, it is twisted. And you can't really tell people about the experience unless they've been through something similar. Otherwise they just say "get over it", "time to move on" - crap like that. They have no clue how these folks can affect you. No clue... .

[jammo1989]

Hey Lipstick, Ill try and explain my own personal insight into your question, from my past observation this is how I perceived the term "consequences" from a BPD/HPD perspective:

A BPD/HPD can't comprehend or feel "consequences" since they can always justify, then rationalize and finally excuse their behavior that caused what a norm would consider "consequences" as a result of some offending behavior. They may experience some displeasure over a change in a situation, or feel they've been mistreated in some manner, but I don't think they equate a norms negative reaction to any particular offending behavior. Like, violating boundaries, such as going to happy hour with a co-worker until 1:00AM. "But he was a co-worker" or "you're just jealous"!. They can't, or refuse to, recognize that a mature adult in a stable, loving relationship wouldn't even consider doing that.

I really don't think an BPD/HPD can even process a norm's terminating a relationship because of the global dysfunctions. They just move on to the next person.  Furthermore, to add to this, this is why we see the so called smear campaign, they shield their guilt by making themselves the victim.  For example, in my case "You killed our baby, i hate you, I hate you for making me feel like this!" or "My son hates you because I told him you make mummy cry"  They NEED to find or use a reason to make themselves appear as if they have a legitimate reason to finally discard us, so as you can now see their way of protecting their ego is by painting themselves as the victim, so to answer your question, I personally feel that they dont feel consequences for their actions because in in their mind what they experienced through their lies is justified because others, especially friends may side and believe their false allegations .  Furthermore, they jump straight into new relationships so they dont give themselves time to process the oold, remember they are running away from their pasts, its all about creating the fantasy, as they dont process reality the same way us NONs do.

Hope that helps     

[FannyB]

Hey Lipstick, Ill try and explain my own personal insight into your question, from my past observation this is how I perceived the term "consequences" from a BPD/HPD perspective:

A BPD/HPD can't comprehend or feel "consequences" since they can always justify, then rationalize and finally excuse their behavior that caused what a norm would consider "consequences" as a result of some offending behavior. They may experience some displeasure over a change in a situation, or feel they've been mistreated in some manner, but I don't think they equate a norms negative reaction to any particular offending behavior. Like, violating boundaries, such as going to happy hour with a co-worker until 1:00AM. "But he was a co-worker" or "you're just jealous"!. They can't, or refuse to, recognize that a mature adult in a stable, loving relationship wouldn't even consider doing that.

I really don't think an BPD/HPD can even process a norm's terminating a relationship because of the global dysfunctions. They just move on to the next person.  Furthermore, to add to this, this is why we see the so called smear campaign, they shield their guilt by making themselves the victim.  For example, in my case "You killed our baby, i hate you, I hate you for making me feel like this!" or "My son hates you because I told him you make mummy cry"  They NEED to find or use a reason to make themselves appear as if they have a legitimate reason to finally discard us, so as you can now see their way of protecting their ego is by painting themselves as the victim, so to answer your question, I personally feel that they dont feel consequences for their actions because in in their mind what they experienced through their lies is justified because others, especially friends may side and believe their false allegations .  Furthermore, they jump straight into new relationships so they dont give themselves time to process the oold, remember they are running away from their pasts, its all about creating the fantasy, as they dont process reality the same way us NONs do.

Hope that helps     

Jammo

You are spot on in that they don't equate negative outcomes as being a direct result of their bad behaviours. However I do think they suffer irrespective of whether they trace the fault line back to themselves. My ex has been stalked by previous lovers - presumably because they were unceremoniously dumped. I know that she was off work and totally stressed by it all - though attributed no blame to herself. Maybe it's a case of karma rather than facing consequences - either way they don't get off scot free for the lives they lead. 

[jammo1989]

Hey Lipstick, Ill try and explain my own personal insight into your question, from my past observation this is how I perceived the term "consequences" from a BPD/HPD perspective:

A BPD/HPD can't comprehend or feel "consequences" since they can always justify, then rationalize and finally excuse their behavior that caused what a norm would consider "consequences" as a result of some offending behavior. They may experience some displeasure over a change in a situation, or feel they've been mistreated in some manner, but I don't think they equate a norms negative reaction to any particular offending behavior. Like, violating boundaries, such as going to happy hour with a co-worker until 1:00AM. "But he was a co-worker" or "you're just jealous"!. They can't, or refuse to, recognize that a mature adult in a stable, loving relationship wouldn't even consider doing that.

I really don't think an BPD/HPD can even process a norm's terminating a relationship because of the global dysfunctions. They just move on to the next person.  Furthermore, to add to this, this is why we see the so called smear campaign, they shield their guilt by making themselves the victim.  For example, in my case "You killed our baby, i hate you, I hate you for making me feel like this!" or "My son hates you because I told him you make mummy cry"  They NEED to find or use a reason to make themselves appear as if they have a legitimate reason to finally discard us, so as you can now see their way of protecting their ego is by painting themselves as the victim, so to answer your question, I personally feel that they dont feel consequences for their actions because in in their mind what they experienced through their lies is justified because others, especially friends may side and believe their false allegations .  Furthermore, they jump straight into new relationships so they dont give themselves time to process the oold, remember they are running away from their pasts, its all about creating the fantasy, as they dont process reality the same way us NONs do.

Hope that helps    

Jammo

You are spot on in that they don't equate negative outcomes as being a direct result of their bad behaviours. However I do think they suffer irrespective of whether they trace the fault line back to themselves. My ex has been stalked by previous lovers - presumably because they were unceremoniously dumped. I know that she was off work and totally stressed by it all - though attributed no blame to herself. Maybe it's a case of karma rather than facing consequences - either way they don't get off scot free for the lives they lead.  

Hey FannyB, can you now see how everything falls nicely into place based on their behavior?  For example you said "My ex has been stalked by previous lovers" Is it because shes this incredible goddess that everyone lusts for? The answer is no, she is the complete opposite, she leaves abruptly leaving the male without closure.  Now lets really think about this, a mans programmed to sort things out, whether it be settling an argument or fighting physically to settle a problem, men, unlike woman are much more forward with their actions its known as masculinity.  How many NON men are passive aggressive? not many they speak out when problems occur and they solve them.  Now with this in mind when a man is left abruptly its only natural for us to want to solve the problem, but the BPD/HPD takes away that masculinity away from us, this in turn feels unnatural to us and we seek a solution.  So the reason why she has stalkers is because shes a fisherman, let me explain this metaphor:  

The BPD/HPD is like a fisherman in a boat, they keep their hook out (always on the look out for back up supply)  If and when she feels a niggle she gets excited and reels us in, if the fish is seen as secondary supply she may throw us onto the boat (communicate) then she will throw us back into the sea (discard) she the fisherman is in control of what she does with these fish, and we were one of those caught on that rod at some point.

What im trying to explain here is that, men dont stalk because of how amazing she is, they stalk because in their mind all they want is closure, but in her mind she sees it as if shes this amazing woman that no man can resist (more HPD) when in reality the men were probably contacted by her and not replied to because they are now solely used as an ego boost.

To answer your 2nd part of the message, they do suffer but its extremely short lived, in my opinion, the suffering is faced during the push/pull cycle, but this is only because THEY are experiencing potential abandonment whether perceived or not, the push/pull is used in order to keep us there (not abandoned) until they have lines somebody else up.  So the consequences arent based on our feelings they are based on his/her fear of abandonment.  When shes texting you during the devalue process its usually because the next guy isnt texting her back or giving attention, that is why you get the I love you, then no reply for like a week, its solely because when they are pushing the other guy is giving her attention, so when she knows 100% that she has this other guy hooked sexting, nude pictures ( more HPD) she acts like she doesn't even know you anymore, she knew to avoid abandonment she had to keep us in the picture, and that is why they act like everything is perfect just before they discard us, it was only to prolong and protect themselves from their own abandonment fears.                

[Aussie0zborn]

Yes, living well is the best revenge. You have the ability to do it - he hasn't. What more could we want?

My ex got off at every twist and turn. And just when the tsunami had settled she applied for a restraining order against me - out of the blue. She didn't need it but she did it anyway.

She sat in the witness box and in a five minute hearing cried like a distressed and fearful victim of an abuser and under oath told the court how I followed and threatened her - twice. We "made eye contact", too! She got the interim restraining order in a performance worthy of an Academy Award.

We go back for a full hearing in September but last week I was arrested for breaching the interim restraining order. Damn! I should have never followed her home from work! ;-)  I have now submitted my evidence to the court that shows I was overseas the first time I "followed" her in January. My evidence also shows I was overseas in April when I "followed" her for 20 minutes and the police accepted that I did not "follow her home from work" last week as I had both a credible witness and a digital footprint that shows my travels that day.

So will she face the consequences now? My legal advice is that she will be found by a court of law to have lied under oath and we will be taking this court finding to the family court for our settlement hearing where she demands 100% in settlement for "all the abuse". She will also be ordered to pay my legal costs so I will also being using a barrister for the full hearing which will add $4,000 to my costs. So with my lawyer's  fee, my barrister's fee and her lawyer's fee which she will ultimately all have to pay, this ferocious, unprovoked and senseless attack will cost her about $12,000. And she has been crying poor.

So yes, I think sometimes they do have to face the consequences of their actions. Hang in there... .your ex will do it all by himself just like mine did but you may never know about it. Just take solace in knowing that you are capable of living well and your ex isn't. Don't  let it get you down.

[Aussie0zborn]

Yes, living well is the best revenge. You have the ability to do it - he hasn't. What more could we want?

My ex got off at every twist and turn. And just when the tsunami had settled she applied for a restraining order against me - out of the blue. She didn't need it but she did it anyway.

She sat in the witness box and in a five minute hearing cried like a distressed and fearful victim of an abuser and under oath told the court how I followed and threatened her - twice. We "made eye contact", too! She got the interim restraining order in a performance worthy of an Academy Award.

We go back for a full hearing in September but last week I was arrested for breaching the interim restraining order and all my neighbors and their children watched me being taken away by the police in a  Paddy Wagon  (a pick up truck with a big box in the back for the prisoner). Damn! I should have never followed her home from work! ;-) 

I have now submitted my evidence to the court that shows I was overseas the first time I "followed" her in January. My evidence also shows I was overseas in April when I "followed" her for 20 minutes and the police accepted that I did not "follow her home from work" last week as I had both a credible witness and a digital footprint that shows my travels that day.

So will she face the consequences now? Well, the police didn't charge her with knowingly making a false statement which is an offense. My legal advice is that she will be found by a court of law to have lied under oath and we will be taking this court finding to the family court for our settlement hearing where she demands 100% in settlement for "all the abuse". She will also be ordered to pay my legal costs so I will also being using a barrister for the full hearing which will add $4,000 to my costs. So with my lawyer's  fee, my barrister's fee and her lawyer's fee which she will ultimately all have to pay, this ferocious, unprovoked and senseless attack will cost her about $12,000. And she has been crying poor.

So yes, I think sometimes they do have to face the consequences of their actions. Hang in there... .your ex will do it all by himself just like mine did but you may never know about it. Just take solace in knowing that you are capable of living well and your ex isn't. Don't  let it get you down.

[Aussie0zborn]

Sweet justice ... .

Let me share a story my lawyer dealt with just last week. It gave me a good measure of cheer.

Ex-husband always being arrested for breaching a restraining order. Ex wife accuses him of being her abuser.

Husband gets home and finds her stalking his house again. The police have never previously believed him. Ex-wife bashes him and he runs down the street to where he knows there are security video cameras. She punches and kicks him while he stands motionless.

With the video evidence in hand, the police finally believe him and she is charged with assault. Being a school principal, a conviction on an assault charge will see her dismissed from her job.

So yes, sometimes they do face the consequences of their actions. Hang in there.

[lipstick]

Aussie,

I read your story with my mouth hanging open in disbelief and outrage. Had you been No Contact with this woman the whole time before she took legal action? Unbelievable!  Then sitting there and openly LYING in the courtroom! Why would she wish to do this?

I'm soo glad you have irrefutable evidence that she's lying. What trash she is !

Thank you for sharing the story from your attorney about the ex husband / abusive spouse. That was sweet justice right  there!  Loved it!

The only "consequences" my ex will ever face is when he loses his two biggest enablers. His mother and his spouse. The man will truly be lost when these women are no longer there to indulge his behavior. That's why I say time is my only payback with him. His family (on mom's side) is mostly gone now. Passed away. His mother is in her seventies and is a heavy drinker / smoker. I don't know if my ex will manage to outlive his spouse. He has a lot of health problems (physical, mostly) so he's probably actually OLDER than her in many ways. But she is a heavy drinker as well. So who knows?

I doubt if he even thinks about me these days. But his world is shrinking, that's for sure. I've heard thru the grapevine that the restaurant he's now working for isn't doing as well as they had hoped. The remodel / rebranding isn't bringing in the business like they had hoped. It's possible that they may decide a Sous Chef is no longer affordable / necessary and cut him loose to save money. Then that will be - let's see - six jobs in three years. Eventually, he's going to run out of places to work on his little island. Won't that be sweet?   

His doctors told him to retire over twelve years ago. He can't afford to do that. The spouse doesn't bring in squat with her little nothing job - and I don't believe he would collect enough disability to make their mortgage payment each month. And heaven forbid that his youngest son (who is still living at home at 25 years old!) should pony up any money to help out his parents!  I truly don't know why he calls his life "comfortable" and "blessed" and "amazing". Seems pretty lousy, in my opinion.   

Thanks again for sharing your story with me. It shows payback does happen. And you're right - I probably won't be there to see it. Darn !   

[Aussie0zborn]

Glad you liked that story. In my case, I have been total NC since separation.

In the first instance, my daughter and my friends and I had a surprise encounter with the ex and her thug boyfriend when we went back to our house for me to get my things. The boyfriend was lying in wait for me with a baseball bat. The ex attended and assaulted my daughter, the boyfriend put his baseball bat away and assaulted me and my friend, the police attended and my ex assaulted a plain clothes police officer, thinking he was part of my group.

The police responded by slapping a restraining order on my daughter. When I complained they slapped one on me too. She had deep scratches on her chest (self inflicted) and claimed my daughter assaulted her. My six witnesses and the assault on the police officer were ignored by police. Again, another Academy Award winning performance form a women who has "suffered years of horrific abuse" - the assault on the police officer somehow proved it! (work that one out). And after the restraining orders were made, she rang me at 1.00am like a long last friend, drunk and very sweet and engaging - I rang the police.

My mantra since separation has been, "that woman will never see my face, hear my voice or have my attention again - except in a court of law in the short term" and I have stuck to that. I wouldn't be seen dead going down that street as it would only add credence to her vicious smear campaign. I have absolutely no interest in her and total NC on this, the final separation,  is not a problem for me.

So what did I do to her to have her respond like this? What do you think I did to her all those years - abused her or nurtured her?

[Infared]

Sweet justice ... .

Let me share a story my lawyer dealt with just last week. It gave me a good measure of cheer.

Ex-husband always being arrested for breaching a restraining order. Ex wife accuses him of being her abuser.

Husband gets home and finds her stalking his house again. The police have never previously believed him. Ex-wife bashes him and he runs down the street to where he knows there are security video cameras. She punches and kicks him while he stands motionless.

With the video evidence in hand, the police finally believe him and she is charged with assault. Being a school principal, a conviction on an assault charge will see her dismissed from her job.

So yes, sometimes they do face the consequences of their actions. Hang in there.

I so love this story.

My ex plays cute little victim to everyone... .and EVERYONE buys it?  I was not physically abused, but emotionally. Repeatedly. She is evil. Has done viscious things and then gives cute smiley face to others that she would never do those things and obviously I am lying and everyone believes her.  I did stop fighting that battle long ago... .I relished that I just could not win it or convince anyone of the actual truth... .but I would love to see her get caught on video somehow.

Aussie... .please stay away from this'd rein... .for you.

[lipstick]

Aussie,

I'm sure that you nurtured while in the relationship. Good Lord - she is heinous ! Words can't describe, really.

I am so, so sorry she put you through all of this garbage. Geez!

Infared,

Your ex is a nutter, as well.

Both of you gentlemen deserve far, far better. But I'm sure you know that!   

My ex doesn't have the guts to confront me. Plus - he lives two hours away and his vehicles aren't what you would call "road trip ready". He goes around on bald tires most of the time. Can't afford new ones. But can get that new cell phone, don'tcha' know! Gotta' have that in order to keep posting his pics to Facebook! Needs that attention!

Thanks to you both for sharing your stories. Awful, awful women... .disorder or no disorder.   

[zipline]

Well... .one consequence my ex has for her actions is that she no longer and will not ever have me in her life again.

... .and that truly is ... .her loss 

I love this.

[Mutt]

Thanks all for participating in this discussion. The topic of discussion has reached it's post limit and is now locked. You are welcome with starting a new or similar topic of discussion.