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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
When you let them own it and they don't follow through
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Topic: When you let them own it and they don't follow through (Read 353 times)
Hmcbart
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married for 17 years and together for 19.
Posts: 486
When you let them own it and they don't follow through
«
on:
June 16, 2015, 06:53:25 PM »
I posted a few months ago complaining how my wife doesn't do anything around the house. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc...
Well she did cook twice since then and has even done the dishes a few times. Not a lot really but better than nothing. I took some of the advice and let her own it. If she didn't want to clean then she can stay in a dirty house or mostly her area upstairs.
Here is the funny part. She scheduled an appointment with the alarm people to come out because one of the carbon monoxide detectors was beeping even after changing the battery. I was out of town and she was a bit freaked out by it. She called last week and the appointment was today. She also scheduled the cable people to come by today because the box was messing up in her TV upstairs.
Plenty of time if she wanted to clean the house a bit so they wouldn't have to step over all of her stuff upstairs to get to the detector and get to the cable box. I called on my way home from work to see how it went with the alarm and cable guy. She told me that she canceled the appointment because the house was too dirty.
I just stayed silent and moved on to another subject. I am pretty sure this will be my fault somehow in her mind. I was silently laughing because of the conversation I had about how sometimes even when you don't want to do your job it's still important that it gets done.
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formflier
Retired Staff
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076
Re: When you let them own it and they don't follow through
«
Reply #1 on:
June 17, 2015, 06:21:47 AM »
Boy... .I'm deep in this in my r/s... with chore charts... .etc etc.
My wife does stuff around the house... .we have a complicated house to run with tons of people around.
I'm in this place where I will do what I think is right... .I'll "do my best" (which can be different on different days)... .and leave it at that.
Hang in there...
FF
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Hmcbart
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married for 17 years and together for 19.
Posts: 486
Re: When you let them own it and they don't follow through
«
Reply #2 on:
June 17, 2015, 08:47:08 AM »
I also had to deal with one of her headaches last night and this morning. Our S8 had a Dr appt this morning and she was gong to take him. I stayed up later than normal watching a movie and went to bed around 2:00 am. She was still awake upstairs. This morning she wakes me up asking me to take him to the Dr or she would have to cancel the appt. I took him.
The headache last night was her reason for not cooking dinner so I picked up something for myself and the boys when I was on my way home from work at 7:45 pm. No groceries, she hasn't cleaned, she usually doesn't come down stairs even when she doesn't have a headache so she won't be interacting with the kids all day.
I know why she wants to spend a month or more in Texas. It's because she can have someone else doing things with the boys during the day. I feel like her inaction is just becoming a major burden on the family. When I have my job and hers to do, it's not easy. I feel for single working mothers out there. But they would probably kill their husbands if they were doing all this and he just lays on the couch watching tv all day.
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