Hi PapillonVert,
You can start right here, I'd like to join AloneAtLast and welcome you to the BPD Family I'm glad you've found us.
I'm a member here because my SO (Significant Other) has an uBPDxw (undiagnosed BPD ex-wife) and they have two daughters D18 and D14 that we have been doing our best to support. So although my mom isn't a pwBPD (person with BPD) I've seen it's effects on my SO' children.
One key to having a relationship with someone BPD is to protect our own boundaries and it sounds like you created some simply with physical distance. Here is some additional information on boundaries
https://bpdfamily.com/content/values-and-boundaries.
I also want to point out the "Lessons" Links and "Survivors Guide" in the box to the right --->
Can you tell us a little bit more about your mom and what you'd like to work on?
Again Welcome I'm so glad you've joined us.
Panda39