Trying to leave a wife who i believe has BPD

[English Sid]

I am in the process of trying to leave my Asian wife who I believe suffers from BPD.

After reading about BPD symptons and the different periods you experience throughout the relationship, this fits my wife to a tee.

She lies and I am sure she is currently having an affair, (no proof at the moment as she covers her tracks very well). I have told her I don't love her anymore and have asked her to leave.

I have had all of the acting out, crying, threats of suicide, self harm , violent rages etc.

Would appreciate any advice on how to get her out of my life.

[married21years]

hi bud this is the wrong board,

this is for people that want to stay

the help leaving board is the one you want.

this is the board for people that like to suffer 

[an0ught]

Note: I just moved this thread to the Leaving Board. You may be a better fit for the needs of this member.

[Mutt]

Hi English Sid,



I'm sorry to hear you're going through all of this. It's confusing and frustrating when we experience acting out and violent rages and we're not sure why our partners react this way.

Many members here share similar experiences and can offer guidance and support. We all come from different circumstances and why do you want her to leave? Do you have kids?

[English Sid]

No I don't have kids, and convinced now that she is having an affair, booked a one way flight back home for her and she has agreed to go.

I believe she has already found her rebound guy, thank the Lord.

[Tim300]

No I don't have kids, and convinced now that she is having an affair, booked a one way flight back home for her and she has agreed to go.

I believe she has already found her rebound guy, thank the Lord.

Sorry that you are going through this.  Sounds like you might already have an out.  Perhaps to cement things you could try to be undesirable, like by letting yourself go a bit (like spill some spaghetti sauce on your shirt while eating and then just let the stain sit there while you watch TV -- but don't make this too obvious that it's intentional).  Just whatever you do, be careful.  These folks are dangerous, especially so during the departing phase, even if the departure is 100% on the pwBPD. 

How long were you married?  At what point did you discover the concept of BPD?

Also, I would try to secure any valuables, tangible or intangible, as these folks seem to not mind taking a scorched-earth, ransack-for-all-I-can-get approach. 

[English Sid]

Hi Married for 3 years, living together for 6 years.

Evidence now she is having an affair with a guy who lives in my town who is married with a young child, I hope she does not come back, but believe that is a possibility.

[English Sid]

With regards to the concept of BPD, only recently but looking back, all of the signs were there.

Starting to suspect something was wrong last year.