Now I'm feeling like the paranoid crazy one

[Hadlee]

I'm finding myself feeling on edge and almost to the point of being crazy.  The last couple of weeks have been a little rough.  I haven't coped overly well, and I'm annoyed with myself for not being able to let all of this go.

It all started when I received the Facebook friend request from a fake account (6th one I've received), which all points to the xBPD friend being behind it.  Following on from that, she has started interacting with a friend of mine on Facebook after there being no interaction for 2 years.  A week ago she messages me directly.  Then the last week I've noticed an increase in her presence outside of my work building.  It seems whenever I leave my office to go outside, she is around.  I caught her staring at the doors to my building whilst she was having coffee with her shiny toy.  Rather than converse with the shiny toy, she did nothing but stare at the entrance to my building.       

I've been looking over my shoulder a lot and keep waiting for something else to happen.  I feel so damn paranoid.  Whilst her behavior isn't aggressive or malicious, it's subtle enough to make me question my own sanity

I know I need to take back the power, block it all out, and focus on me only.  It's tough sometimes.  Guess I just really needed to vent.

Hope you all are having a great weekend

[Lifewriter16]

This sounds like stalking to me. In my opinion, you are neither paranoid nor crazy to be feeling so uncomfortable with your situation. What does everyone else think?

Lifewriter

[NonBPDEx]

If she is intentional behind the fb requests, then I agree. Mild stalking.

[Hadlee]

This sounds like stalking to me. In my opinion, you are neither paranoid nor crazy to be feeling so uncomfortable with your situation. What does everyone else think?

Lifewriter

Thanks Lifewriter

I explained how I was feeling to a co-worker the other day.  He didn't understand at all, which made me question my sanity even more.  As he said, the BPD and I work for the same company, so are bound to cross paths at times.  That is true - I accept that.  However, I've never known her to ever leave her desk let alone the building so much as she does now, especially this past week.  And to be sitting with a direct view to the entrance to my building just gives me shivers.

@NonBPDEx - yes, there are some obvious signs on these profiles to indicate it is her. 

[Mutt]

Hey Hadlee,

I'm sorry to hear you're going through all of this.

I've been looking over my shoulder a lot and keep waiting for something else to happen.

I can understand feeling suspicious. What do you think may happen?

[Hadlee]

I can understand feeling suspicious. What do you think may happen?

That's the thing Mutt... .I'm just not sure what may happen, if anything at all.  The not knowing whether this behaviour will continue or not is keeping on edge.  I'm not concerned at all that she would do anything to harm me - she doesn't like confrontation at all. 

I just really don't like the thought of somebody watching me.  It makes me feel uncomfortable.  I don't feel like I'm in control at the moment.  And I don't quite understand her motive behind it all either?

[greenmonkey]

Best thing you can do is start logging all incidences.

Photograph if you can, take screenshots of fake FB accounts and friend requests.

Normally there will be a pattern emerging over a few weeks, just log every little detail, however small it might make a big difference long term.

Try not to be on your own - so you have witnesses to her behaviour.

I have had this for 7 months now since I evicted my uBPD ex, should things ever escalate the authorities would have a cast iron case against her.

[Hadlee]

Best thing you can do is start logging all incidences.

Photograph if you can, take screenshots of fake FB accounts and friend requests.

Normally there will be a pattern emerging over a few weeks, just log every little detail, however small it might make a big difference long term.

Try not to be on your own - so you have witnesses to her behaviour.

I have had this for 7 months now since I evicted my uBPD ex, should things ever escalate the authorities would have a cast iron case against her.

Thanks so much geenmonkey - Fortunately, I have done all of what you suggested  I was actually on the phone to my friend when I saw the BPD watching my building, so I took a photo and sent it to my friend.  To say that he was spooked by it was an understatement

I definitely see a pattern with the fake Facebook requests - she contacts me directly within 1-2 weeks after every request I receive.

[Mutt]

The not knowing whether this behaviour will continue or not is keeping on edge.

She has a distorted belief system and you say she doesn't like confrontation and you're not worried that she's going to bring you harm. If I had to guess with the FB accounts and her loitering is that she's having difficulties mustering up courage to approach you.

“If you are depressed you are living in the past.

If you are anxious you are living in the future.

If you are at peace you are living in the present." ~ Lao Tzu

You have control with shifting your thoughts in the here and now and not speculating with what may or may not happen?

[Hadlee]

“If you are depressed you are living in the past.

If you are anxious you are living in the future.

If you are at peace you are living in the present." ~ Lao Tzu

You have control with shifting your thoughts in the here and now and not speculating with what may or may not happen?

Thanks Mutt.  I definitely need to centre myself to the here and now!

[Mutt]