Hurting

[N065548]

My BPD girlfriend and I just ended our relationship for what seems like the thousandth time. I'm in a great deal of pain as the blame is being placed completely on me. Every day when I attempt to discuss how I'm feeling, it gets over ruled with anger and blame. I'm drowning in the decision that's left here with me. She is a good person. And I know she loves me. Though she objects always I care so deeply for her and want to see her happy. I've lost every part of myself and no longer know where to turn. Of course I have made mistakes... but I feel like she wants me to believe I deserve this. Do I deserve this?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[vortex of confusion]

 

I am so sorry that you are dealing with this right now.

The on again off again stuff is so confusing and hurtful.

Are you hoping that she comes back again?

One of the things that you can do is read through the lessons that you can find down the right side of this forum. It might give you some understanding of her behaviors as well as your own. This stuff is so confusing.

[N065548]

I don't know what I'm hoping. I'm so exhausted it's difficult for me to know which way is the right way. I've invested so much of myself into this it's hard to let go. But I can't help but believe if I love her I will let her go... I'll look through the resources. Thank you!

[Daniell85]

It's ok to take a pause for a bit and not make any decisions about anything. Just rest and calm and sort your mind and feelings. Sorry you had another break up. It is really gut wrenching.