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Author Topic: July is here and I'm terrified  (Read 602 times)
.cup.car
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 251

C:\Papyrus


« on: July 01, 2015, 09:54:55 AM »

For the past five years without fail, my ex always "pops up" during the first week of July. It's to the point where I can take the average of all previous dates she's came back into my life, I get an exact time & date - July 4th at Midnight.

I have a suspicion the numerous auto racing ads for a big event up here trigger her into contacting me in some fashion. Even after I was painted black and she had no reason to contact me, still she tried to cause problems in the first week of July, two years in a row like clockwork.

I wasn't aware mental illnesses had a schedule.

Anyways, it's the first day of July and I feel horrible. She's already violated the court order once this year yet wasn't charged because of our sketchy internet laws - although both her and her dad were warned.

I fully expect something to happen in t he next week. I can't ignore the pattern of her coming around in July. I'm not sure how to handle it. It's exhausting dealing with this for so long.
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WhereToBegin

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« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2015, 12:50:43 PM »

I have always been amazed by the clockwork nature of things with my exBPDbf. 

As I have shared here before, 4 major breaks-ups in the last 5 years -- all in the month of May.  And I just realized that he became official (per his social media status) with the replacement on the exact same day - to the day.  June 6, 2013 and June 6, 2015.  Unreal.   
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cosmonaut
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #2 on: July 01, 2015, 04:23:03 PM »

I fully expect something to happen in t he next week. I can't ignore the pattern of her coming around in July. I'm not sure how to handle it. It's exhausting dealing with this for so long.

I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling anxious about your ex likely contacting you.  It sounds like you want nothing to do with her, is that right?  How has she sought to contact you in the past?  Is there any way you can unilaterally block her via those routes?  Would that be the best thing for your healing?
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Friend
Relationship status: In a relationship
Posts: 42



« Reply #3 on: July 01, 2015, 05:04:46 PM »

I'm sorry it makes you feel terrified, but I understand. July is his birthday and when be broke it off. It sounds like she is terrible with boundaries and doesn't respect the fact that you said "don't contact me please".
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.cup.car
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 251

C:\Papyrus


« Reply #4 on: July 01, 2015, 07:57:26 PM »

I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling anxious about your ex likely contacting you.  It sounds like you want nothing to do with her, is that right?  How has she sought to contact you in the past?  Is there any way you can unilaterally block her via those routes?  Would that be the best thing for your healing?

Posted this in a previous thread but might as well post it here as well.

July 2nd, 2011 - We begin talking out of the blue. Couple weeks later I get these huge messages from her confessing her love for me. By the end of summer she's sending me huge messages explaining that she's a lesbian and that I was forcing her to go against her sexuality.

July 6th, 2012 - She calls me crying in the middle of the night begging to get back together. We get back together. By the end of the summer she is again a lesbian, denies that we ever had a relationship, and claims that I'm stalking her.

July 11th, 2013 - She calls my mom at 5am asking where I lived and what I was doing for work. I got in contact with her through my own means, and for a few weeks in August 2013 my life was chaos. She hit me in some random parking lot when we tried to talk things over, then spent two weeks obsessively texting me until the wee hours of the morning telling me to kill myself. When she got bored of fighting with just me, she began texting my friends. Then claimed I was stalking her.

July 1st, 2014 - Tried to instigate a fight with me on social media, then began texting one of my friends. Again, this lasted until the end of August. I got tired of her garbage and took things to court at the end of September, with another date in December. Seemed to have pooped herself out by the first one and didn't show up to the one in December because she was "scared" of me according to her dad.

April 29th, 2015 - She violated the court order and the police went and had a talk with her + her dad.

Blocked her three Facebook accounts. Blocked her three Twitter accounts. Blocked her on Instagram. Blocked both of her younger sister's Facebook accounts (at one point she was creeping on me). Blocked her Dad on Facebook.

I don't want anything to do with her, but if something does happen and she pops up again (which is 99% likely), I'm afraid I'll crumble and agree to something stupid like going to counseling with her.

My adopted cousin suffers from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and the toll her behavior takes on my Uncle and Aunt has almost destroyed their marriage. It would be a Godsend if one of the people my cousin has wronged threw my Uncle & Aunt a bone and tried to help in some way instead of making my cousin's problems worse by being vindictive and vengeful towards her.

Every time I've reported my ex to the police or done something to make it clear that her behavior isn't acceptable (IE court), I've broke down crying in private afterwards. I know how much my Uncle & Aunt are affected anytime my cousin gets into serious trouble, and I feel really bad putting another family through the same thing, even if it's the right thing to do.
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letmeout
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #5 on: July 02, 2015, 01:29:58 AM »

I would plan a fun vacation the first week of every July and leave town.

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