Sunflower: thank you for the thoughtful response. I think we dated the same person. Lol. How would your ex react to contact if things were going well in his life and there was no "need" for you? Would his reaction be nasty or discounting?
Thanks for letting me know there are similarities. I just kinda assume mine is a "different breed" than most here, therefore I translate the info appropriately in either direction to make the stories work for me... .it is essentially the same... .just not really, also. Good to hear there is another like me!
Humm... .
I seriously am not sure.
Ok... .let me think now. If all was great with him and SF not "needed"... .
WOW! I know... Eww... . That is the way he acts when he is with D15. He cannot be both a dad and my partner... .those people do not exist in the same quantum world.
If he was truly satiated with no need for me... .he would act the way he does when with D15... .and she is golden.
I am looked down upon. He "mocks" me without mocking me and "shuns" me without actually really shunning me. It is purely awful! I rather overt anger that makes sense. So he will "flaunt" around like his D15 is the best r/s on the face of the earth and she is just a goddess that he almost worships. For example: I will need to work the next day and want to be in bed by 10:30. He will feel rejected, purposely find a really fun game to play with her for special daddy/D time, lots of laughing. But the whole thing is so weird. It is not even his personality. He takes on a staged personality with her, and then he exaggerates THAT staged personality and makes every little thing she does seem like the smartest, most thoughtful best thing ever thing! He purposely chooses activities that could not include anyone else, and flaunts them as if what they did was the best day of their life. Like putting on a TV show real loud, takes over half the house with a setup... .a movie that I would never watch... .when my son is asleep and not able to help choose the movie... .then the whole house has to be dark... .tippy toe around them laughing through the whole house, clapping and carrying on like the next day I don't have work and if I ask for it to be turned down... .I'm the party pooper. He'll even try to run to me to tell me something so very smart she brought up to interrupt me as if I want to treat her like a 3 year old... .can you believe she knows 5 types of zombies? She is so smart! I'm so proud of her! That is so clever and fun of her! Uhhh... .really... .you woke me for THAT? WOW... .I guess he turns histrionic with her... idk... eh!
So the short answer... .
He'd care less to have anything to do with me if he was not feeling needy.
Why can't he want companionship to heighten his happiness vs filling a void? I thin if he saw it this way... .he could be my friend... .but if a void is full... .he then is full... .no room. Now it makes sense why he splits himself between r/s. He fills up... .but I expand... .there is always room for love.
Thanks for making me think of this... .I think this is a good one for me to ponder and ingrained a bit... .it feels like a needed reality check beach babe.

What about you?