Hey LB&C-
that pushed me to tell him I will always love him and be here for him if he needs me but I don't want to talk to him anymore.
And realize that means an attachment is still in place for a borderline, so he will keep trying if he follows the BPD playbook.
I feel like maybe there is something wrong with me because I can't find anyone.
It's not as much about being single as it is about his life progressing and he is happy and I am not.
So you're comparing your reality to the facade he's painting and coming up short, which is still giving him a lot of power. Is there a way to base your happiness on other things? What would they be?
I have so many wonderful friends which I am so thankful for and right now I know I am not ready for a relationship but would just like someone to date.
Cool! And the best way to meet someone new is through friends, because of the social proof that comes with preexisting relationships. When you say date are you talking about an NSA sex partner or someone to go to a baseball game with?
I still have work to do on myself and need to focus on my kids before I get into a relationship. This left me not liking myself much and I need to fix that to find the right person who will love me. I guess it is why does he get to be happy and why is he having a normal relationship.
There's the comparison, along with a search for external validation, understandable, I couldn't even look women in the eye for quite a while after I left her. But the cool thing is once you do that work, and really it boils down to self esteem and the internal validation that comes with that, then you can go into a new relationship to give instead of get, and the right guy will give right back. Take care of you!